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Band 4.5

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages.

#countries #aim #development #values
In today's world, economic development is a major factor contributing
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a
country
's
growth
. Over the years, many developing
countries
 have become successful because of economic empowerment. I believe that the benefits of economic
growth
 outweigh its drawbacks.
Wealth
Add an article
A wealth
The wealth
show examples
 of a
country
 is dependent on economic
potiential
Correct your spelling
potential
.
Moreover
, it generates job
oppurtinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 and eliminates poverty. There are multiple advantages of economic
growth
. To commence with, economically stronger
countries
 have many benefits over those
countries
 which are thriving to survive. It results in an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
country
's assets and enables the government to spend more money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 education, health, industrialism,
aggriculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 and tourism.
Furthermore
,
this
 causes a rise in better job facilities for individuals.
For example
,
countries
 like America
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
 free health care,
many
Correct word choice
and many
show examples
 scholarship programs leading to a better quality of life for people living there.
Moreover
, economic stability removes poverty from the
country
. Basic
necessacities
Correct your spelling
necessities
 become easily available and many services are provided by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 itself, ensuring a better future for people.
For example
, China enjoys
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 monopoly over the world because of
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 economic
growth
 over the years.
A research
Remove the article
Research
show examples
 showed that China is the second superpower that has gained strength
over-time
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some argue that it results in
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of social values. If a
country
 earns more, it can spend more, and it is lucrative for individuals. In developing
countries
, economic
insufficency
Correct your spelling
insufficiency
has
Add the particle
tohas
show examples
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
show examples
 rate. I believe that a person learns his social values from his upbringing. It is not dependent on
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 development of a
country
.
To conclude
, economic
stablility
Correct your spelling
stability
 has many advantages that outweigh its disadvantages. I believe it is necessary for a
country
, to fulfil
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 population's basic needs. It can only be achieved if a
country
 has more finances to support its
out growing
Correct your spelling
outgrowing
show examples
 population.
Submitted by Mominamajid521 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • quality of life
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare
  • education
  • job opportunities
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • traditional cultural values
  • social bonds
  • material wealth
  • consumerism
  • social inequality
  • environmental conservation
  • wealth gap
  • vulnerable groups
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