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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development but some important social values are lost as a result. Do you think advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages.

#countries #aim #development #values
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In today's world, economic development is a major factor contributing
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a
country
Use synonyms
's
growth
Use synonyms
. Over the years, many developing
countries
Use synonyms
 have become successful because of economic empowerment. I believe that the benefits of economic
growth
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 outweigh its drawbacks.
Wealth
Add an article
A wealth
The wealth
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 of a
country
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 is dependent on economic
potiential
Correct your spelling
potential
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it generates job
oppurtinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 and eliminates poverty. There are multiple advantages of economic
growth
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. To commence with, economically stronger
countries
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 have many benefits over those
countries
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 which are thriving to survive. It results in an increase
of
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in
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 the
country
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's assets and enables the government to spend more money
for
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on
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 education, health, industrialism,
aggriculture
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agriculture
 and tourism.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 causes a rise in better job facilities for individuals.
For example
Linking Words
,
countries
Use synonyms
 like America
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
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 free health care,
many
Correct word choice
and many
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 scholarship programs leading to a better quality of life for people living there.
Moreover
Linking Words
, economic stability removes poverty from the
country
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. Basic
necessacities
Correct your spelling
necessities
 become easily available and many services are provided by
government
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the government
show examples
 itself, ensuring a better future for people.
For example
Linking Words
, China enjoys
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 monopoly over the world because of
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 economic
growth
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 over the years.
A research
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Research
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 showed that China is the second superpower that has gained strength
over-time
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over time
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some argue that it results in
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
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 of social values. If a
country
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 earns more, it can spend more, and it is lucrative for individuals. In developing
countries
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, economic
insufficency
Correct your spelling
insufficiency
has
Add the particle
tohas
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lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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 in
crime
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the crime
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 rate. I believe that a person learns his social values from his upbringing. It is not dependent on
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 development of a
country
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, economic
stablility
Correct your spelling
stability
 has many advantages that outweigh its disadvantages. I believe it is necessary for a
country
Use synonyms
, to fulfil
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 population's basic needs. It can only be achieved if a
country
Use synonyms
 has more finances to support its
out growing
Correct your spelling
outgrowing
show examples
 population.
Submitted by Mominamajid521 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • economic development
  • quality of life
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare
  • education
  • job opportunities
  • unemployment
  • poverty
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • traditional cultural values
  • social bonds
  • material wealth
  • consumerism
  • social inequality
  • environmental conservation
  • wealth gap
  • vulnerable groups
What to do next:
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