IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 globalization era, plenty of
choices
Use synonyms
 are debatable. On one side, there are some people who believe that statement,
while
Linking Words
 others don't.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss why I agree that we, as a modern society, have too many
choices
Use synonyms
. The first and main evidence of having plenty of
choices
Use synonyms
 is the huge number of advertisement that leads to distraction. It is available
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Television and
also
Linking Words
 in
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
app
Fix the agreement mistake
apps
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our phones.
For example
Linking Words
, when we are searching
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
watch
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our phone. It shows not only in
Correct article usage
the google
show examples
google
Correct your spelling
Google
show examples
 app, but it's spreading to youtube, shopping
app
Fix the agreement mistake
apps
show examples
, and even
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
. On top of that, we can't control all the incoming offers.
Thus
Linking Words
, proofing
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a huge number
Use synonyms
choices
Change preposition
of choices
show examples
 and
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 risk
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 being distractions. The second evidence of having plenty of
choices
Use synonyms
 is that we are faced with enough unnecessary
choices
Use synonyms
 from time to time.
For example
Linking Words
, students now have over one thousand
schools
Change the noun form
school
show examples
 accessories.
Such
Linking Words
 as rubber, marker, and sticky notes.
However
Linking Words
, those are not
crusial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 things to decide. But because we have
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 many
platform
Change to a plural noun
platforms
show examples
 for
Add an article
an advertisement
show examples
advertisement
Replace the word
advertising
show examples
 we are forced to pick one.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is appropriate to say that nowadays we have beyond
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
choices
Use synonyms
. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, people, who especially live in poor countries, face different problems. They don't have many options even for fulfilling their basic needs.
For example
Linking Words
, people in South Sudan North Africa are not able to get access to food, and medical treatment. In conclusion, I strongly agree that all of us have
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 many options.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that those options
transforms
Change the verb form
transform
show examples
 from benefiting to risking us.
Submitted by pranipradani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: