There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, ,many believe that other meausres will be needed. Discuss both sides.

#crimes #year #think #death #penalty #deterrent #meausres

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The number of criminals and law offenders increases year by year. Many would argue that

death

Correct article usage

the death

show examples

penalty

would deter them

Change preposition

from

show examples

repeat

Verb problem

committing

show examples

crimes

while

others think that these measures

Change the verb form

are

show examples

cruel and must opt

Change preposition

for

show examples

alternative ways. In

this

essay, I will explore and discuss both views and give my opinion. On one hand, I would argue that having

death

Correct article usage

the death

show examples

penalty

as a form of punishment is the best choice to discourage criminals and would-be-criminals

to commit

Change preposition

from committing

show examples

and repeat

crimes

Although

this

method is brutal and inhumane,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I believe it is the most effective way to show

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them that the government is serious

Change preposition

about

show examples

giving punishment. In Davao

for example

, even though

death

Add an article

the death

show examples

penalty

is not legalized in the Philippines

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Mayor Duterte has strongly

impose

Change the verb form

imposed

show examples

a strong governance in his city against criminals

espicially

Correct your spelling

especially

drug dealers, by being vocal

Change preposition

about

show examples

killing them if they

will be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

known,

hence

, Davao

city

Capitalize word

City

show examples

has been labelled as the only place in the country with law crime rate and safe for tourist.

On the other hand

, some would argue that there are ways to combat criminality, through

education

and work. As the data shows more

crimes

committed are related to poverty and poor

education

. In my city alone,

for instance

, the poverty rate is outstanding and

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

number of

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

children's

are deprived

with

Change preposition

show examples

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

education

, resulting

Change preposition

show examples

drug-related

crimes

, robbery, and

thef

Correct your spelling

theft

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

often leads to murder. It is

therefore

crucial for the government to alleviate the issue by creating policies focusing on

education

and

work

Wrong verb form

working

show examples

, to create a safe community. In conclusion, I would argue that around the world crime rate is disturbingly increasing, and

death

Add an article

the death

show examples

penalty

would be the best method to combat the issue.

However

, the government play

important

Add an article

an important

show examples

role

to address

Change preposition

in addressing

show examples

this

issue to deter people to repeat and commit

crimes

by creating policies focusing on

education

and work.

Submitted by lsc_00000 on Sun Apr 09 2023

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task response

Improve the organization of your arguments to ensure a clear and comprehensive response to the task.

coherence cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by using clearer transitions and structuring your essay more effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, ,many believe that other meausres will be needed. Discuss both sides.

Your opinion

Fewer and fewer young people are choosing to become teachers. Why do young people not want to be teachers? How this could be changed?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

Demand for food is increasing worldwide. What are the causes of this? What measures can be international community take to make sure the supply of food is enough?