There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, ,many believe that other meausres will be needed. Discuss both sides.
The number of criminals and law offenders increases year by year. Many would argue that
death
Correct article usage
the death
penalty
would deter them to
Change preposition
from
repeat
Verb problem
committing
crimes
, while
others think that these measures is
cruel and must opt Change the verb form
are
to
alternative ways. In Change preposition
for
this
essay, I will explore and discuss both views and give my opinion.
On one hand, I would argue that having death
Correct article usage
the death
penalty
as a form of punishment is the best choice to discourage criminals and would-be-criminals to commit
and repeat Change preposition
from committing
crimes
. Although
, this
method is brutal and inhumane, as
I believe it is the most effective way to show Correct word choice
apply
to
them that the government is serious Change preposition
apply
in
giving punishment. In Davao Change preposition
about
for example
, even though death
Add an article
the death
penalty
is not legalized in the Philippines but
Mayor Duterte has strongly Correct word choice
apply
impose
a strong governance in his city against criminals Change the verb form
imposed
espicially
drug dealers, by being vocal Correct your spelling
especially
of
killing them if they Change preposition
about
will be
known, Wrong verb form
are
hence
, Davao city
has been labelled as the only place in the country with law crime rate and safe for tourist.
Capitalize word
City
On the other hand
, some would argue that there are ways to combat criminality, through education
and work. As the data shows more crimes
committed are related to poverty and poor education
. In my city alone, for instance
, the poverty rate is outstanding and significant
number of Correct article usage
a significant
childrens
are deprived Correct your spelling
children
children's
with
Change preposition
of
good
Correct article usage
a good
education
, resulting to
drug-related Change preposition
in
crimes
, robbery, and thef
, Correct your spelling
theft
that
often leads to murder. It is Correct pronoun usage
which
therefore
crucial for the government to alleviate the issue by creating policies focusing on education
and work
, to create a safe community.
In conclusion, I would argue that around the world crime rate is disturbingly increasing, and Wrong verb form
working
death
Add an article
the death
penalty
would be the best method to combat the issue. However
, the government play important
role Add an article
an important
to address
Change preposition
in addressing
this
issue to deter people to repeat and commit crimes
by creating policies focusing on education
and work.Submitted by lsc_00000 on
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task response
Improve the organization of your arguments to ensure a clear and comprehensive response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by using clearer transitions and structuring your essay more effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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