Essay Question: Some people think that to deal with the problem of congestion in cities, privately-owned vehicles should be banned in city centres, while others consider this to be an unrealistic solution. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In today's world, the problem of congestion in
megapolises
Check wording
megacities
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is increasing.
While
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some believe privately-owned vehicles should be prohibited, others think
this
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is
unreal
Correct word choice
unrealistic
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. Both sides will be analysed before a reasoned conclusion is drawn
Firstly
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, some claim that encouraging more
society
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people
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to use public
shipment
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transportation
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would have a positive impact on the environment.
For instance
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, the air would not be polluted
due to
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exhaust fumes
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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are produced by cars. If the government provided cheaper
passages
Use the right word
passes
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, citizens would use public transit more often than now.
This
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shows why prohibiting privately-owned transport has garnered support. Meanwhile, there is
an
Correct article usage
apply
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another group who believes that it is impossible to check and control what kinds of vehicles enter and leave the
city
Use synonyms
centre. Like
namely
Rephrase
apply
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,
this
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area of the
city
Use synonyms
is overcrowded, a lot of movement
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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driven and plenty of public deal with their problems in
this
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area,
due to
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the huge number of business centres, schools, shops and so on. If the government brought in a law to
rule
Verb problem
regulate
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what types are transport are used in the
city
Use synonyms
centre, it would take extra expenses for new control systems and new employees.
This
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shows why some people are against prohibiting public shipment. In summary,
it is clear that
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both sides have strong grounds in their views.
However
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, in my opinion, banning privately-owned transport in the
city
Use synonyms
centre should not be done because it would be very tough to control people and their vehicles.
That is
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why viable alternative solutions should be found.

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task achievement
Your introduction presents the topic but needs a clearer thesis statement that states your opinion. Try to explicitly say which side you support.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. You could add topic sentences to help guide the reader through your essay. This improves coherence.
task achievement
Your examples can be more specific. Instead of general statements, provide detailed examples to support your points better.
coherence and cohesion
In conclusion, summarize your main points more clearly. Restate your opinion and the reasons you have given to strengthen your conclusion.
task achievement
You present a clear discussion of both sides. It shows that you understand different perspectives on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of connecting words like 'firstly' and 'meanwhile' helps to structure your argument and link ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • ban
  • vehicles
  • city centres
  • unrealistic
  • transportation
  • public transport
  • air quality
  • fewer
  • travel
  • encourage
  • rely on
  • remove
  • difficult
  • option
  • transport
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