Some people think that a huge amount of time and money is spent on the protection of wild animals, and that this money could be better spent on the human population. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #amount #time #money #protection #animals #population

In many regions of the world, some people believe

this

is undoubtedly advantageous for having

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investment fund for the conservation of wildlife.

While

others concur that money and time need to sponsor the human population. I totally agree with the notion of the former opinion. One point that I believe to be pivotal is the indisputable fact that the inseparable relationship between the human race and wildlife.

This

is because, if the

animals

Add a verb

areanimals

wereanimals

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completely extinct, people will not get food for their sustenance. By way of illustration, the common meal that our humans have every day is pork, beef, and chicken, if they all die.

As a result

, the community do not have food to live.

This

is why I believe that if people do not make an effort to protect wild

animals

the mean they try to kill themselves via destroy Earth’s habitat. Yet, perhaps the strongest argument in favour of my optimism about

this

is biodiversity balance. As we witness, humans and

animals

cannibalize each other to survive. Countless real-life examples have shown that rabbit eats grasses, and a fox eats rabbits,

then

the fox is killed by a lion, and

finally

lion death and becomes grass. If one of them has been extinct that will lead to disrupting the fare chain. In many recent years, much information shows that the demise of thousands of species is increasing and pulling along the downward trend of extinction rate. For these reasons, I think that our humans must do now as soon as possible, make an effort in the conservation of wild creatures. In conclusion, I once again reiterate my position that human has to fund our time and finance to preserve wild

animals

due to

conserve them, which means we protect our life, if one of them in the survival cycle have bygone that will lead to loss of the balancing of the ecosystem.

Submitted by vihoaithichngu on Sun Apr 09 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

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