Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

#people #health #sports #faculties #effect #measures

In today's world,

health

is a major concern for

Correct article usage

the

show examples

majority of

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

. Some believe that

sports

facilities

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

a vital role in improving public

health

However

, others believe in multiple factors that can have a beneficial effect on society. I support

this

ideology that many other steps can be taken to improve one's

health

To begin

with,

sports

centres

are a motivation for some people. Many individuals enjoy playing

sports

and it becomes a

habbit

Correct your spelling

habit

for some. It

enchances

Correct your spelling

enhances

their mood and has a positive impact on their mental and

phyical

Correct your spelling

physical

health

For example

, playing cricket or football can burn calories and improves cardiac

health

by reducing

cholestrol

Correct your spelling

cholesterol

level in

Add an article

the blood

show examples

blood stream

Correct your spelling

bloodstream

show examples

Furthermore

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

a platform for social interactions. People can

built

Change the verb form

build

be built

show examples

new friendships and it can be a reason for some to utilize game organisations.

On the other hand

, it is not

Correct article usage

the

show examples

only factor that can help in improving

health

. Many other measures can be taken by the government.

Firstly

, public awareness

is plays

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a significant role in

prevention

Add an article

the prevention

show examples

of some

diseases

This

can be

acheived

Correct your spelling

achieved

by involving social media and print media.

For example

, breast cancer is

prevelant

Correct your spelling

prevalent

in many areas of the world. Its earlier detection can lead to a better prognosis. Public education regarding early diagnosis and screening of breast cancer has reduced the mortality rate of the disease over the past few years.

Secondly

, making quarantine

centres

for people suffering from air-borne

diseases

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

COVID-19, tb, mumps and influenza virus, can help in preventing

transmission

Correct article usage

the transmission

show examples

of disease.

For example

, during the COVID-19 pandemic,

there

Correct your spelling

these

show examples

centres

helped the government to control

death

Correct article usage

the death

show examples

rate and transmission of the virus. These methods have proved to be helpful for

health

-related issues. I believe that as much as

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

centres

can help increase one's

phyical

Correct your spelling

physical

activity, other ways that can benefit a mass population

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

should be encouraged more. Projects that can help in public awareness and prevention of

diseases

should be increased.

To conclude

health

is an integral part of one's life. Many factors are involved in improving

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

care systems of the country.

Sports

can be beneficial for some, but programs conducting education plans can be beneficial for many individuals. More money should be spent on

prevention

Correct article usage

the prevention

show examples

diseases

Submitted by Mominamajid521 on Sun Apr 09 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

375 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
physical activity
improve
public health
opportunities
regular exercise
chronic diseases
obesity
diabetes
heart disease
community involvement
social interactions
education
healthy lifestyles
policies
healthy eating habits
access
limited
location
affordability
cultural barriers
holistic approach
strategies
interventions

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days people spend more and more time at work and less time at home. What are advantages and disadvantages of this?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.