Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

In today's world,

health

Use synonyms

is a major concern for

Correct article usage

the

show examples

majority of

population

Add an article

the population

show examples

. Some believe that

sports

Use synonyms

facilities

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

a vital role in improving public

health

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, others believe in multiple factors that can have a beneficial effect on society. I support

this

Linking Words

ideology that many other steps can be taken to improve one's

health

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with,

sports

Use synonyms

centres

Use synonyms

are a motivation for some people. Many individuals enjoy playing

sports

Use synonyms

and it becomes a

habbit

Correct your spelling

habit

for some. It

enchances

Correct your spelling

enhances

their mood and has a positive impact on their mental and

phyical

Correct your spelling

physical

health

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, playing cricket or football can burn calories and improves cardiac

health

Use synonyms

by reducing

cholestrol

Correct your spelling

cholesterol

level in

Add an article

the blood

show examples

blood stream

Correct your spelling

bloodstream

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

facilities

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

a platform for social interactions. People can

built

Change the verb form

build

be built

show examples

new friendships and it can be a reason for some to utilize game organisations.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, it is not

Correct article usage

the

show examples

only factor that can help in improving

health

Use synonyms

. Many other measures can be taken by the government.

Firstly

Linking Words

, public awareness

is plays

Change the verb form

plays

show examples

a significant role in

prevention

Add an article

the prevention

show examples

of some

diseases

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

can be

acheived

Correct your spelling

achieved

by involving social media and print media.

For example

Linking Words

, breast cancer is

prevelant

Correct your spelling

prevalent

in many areas of the world. Its earlier detection can lead to a better prognosis. Public education regarding early diagnosis and screening of breast cancer has reduced the mortality rate of the disease over the past few years.

Secondly

Linking Words

, making quarantine

centres

Use synonyms

for people suffering from air-borne

diseases

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

COVID-19, tb, mumps and influenza virus, can help in preventing

transmission

Correct article usage

the transmission

show examples

of disease.

For example

Linking Words

, during the COVID-19 pandemic,

there

Correct your spelling

these

show examples

centres

Use synonyms

helped the government to control

death

Correct article usage

the death

show examples

rate and transmission of the virus. These methods have proved to be helpful for

health

Use synonyms

-related issues. I believe that as much as

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

centres

Use synonyms

can help increase one's

phyical

Correct your spelling

physical

activity, other ways that can benefit a mass population

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

should be encouraged more. Projects that can help in public awareness and prevention of

diseases

Use synonyms

should be increased.

To conclude

Linking Words

health

Use synonyms

is an integral part of one's life. Many factors are involved in improving

Use synonyms

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

care systems of the country.

Sports

Use synonyms

can be beneficial for some, but programs conducting education plans can be beneficial for many individuals. More money should be spent on

prevention

Correct article usage

the prevention

show examples

diseases

Use synonyms

Mominamajid521

Apr 9, 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

375 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

promote
physical activity
improve
public health
opportunities
regular exercise
chronic diseases
obesity
diabetes
heart disease
community involvement
social interactions
education
healthy lifestyles
policies
healthy eating habits
access
limited
location
affordability
cultural barriers
holistic approach
strategies
interventions

What to do next:

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports faculties . Others , however say that this would have little effect on public health and other measures are required . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion .

Some people think that university education should be free, while others believe students should pay for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the best way to reduce crimes is to apply longer prison sentences, other people think that there are better methods of doing so. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries, it is possible for people to have a variety of food that has been transported from all over the world. To what extent do you think its benefits outweigh the drawbacks?

In some cultures,children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvages of giving children this message?