IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The advantage and disadvantage of watching TV. discuss both views and give your opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The television
Correct article usage
Television
show examples
 makes
people
Use synonyms
 relax and amuse
in
Correct pronoun usage
themselves in
show examples
 their leisure time.
However
Linking Words
, if individuals keep sitting in front of the
TV
Use synonyms
, it might be
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on their physical health.
This
Linking Words
essey
Correct your spelling
essay
 will examine its pros and cons, and as far as I am concerned,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tv
Use synonyms
rime
Correct your spelling
time
show examples
 should be limited since it is
dependence
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
.
Main
Correct article usage
The main
show examples
advantagerous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
advantages
 deal of
tv
Use synonyms
 is a conversation opener.
This
Linking Words
 is because
tv
Use synonyms
 programs are made for entertainment
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 regardless of
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it could be common
topics
Fix the agreement mistake
topic
show examples
 to talk
with
Change preposition
about with
show examples
 friends and co-workers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, watching
tv
Use synonyms
 as a family can be quality time.
For example
Linking Words
, in Japan, the media is broadcasting comedies, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 enjoyed by all generations every Friday at seven pm, which expected all family members
stay
Fix the infinitive
to stay
show examples
 at home. Since
then
Linking Words
, the show is loved, and long
run
Replace the word
running
show examples
 for 50 years
until
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now as it is needed by the viewers. Yet,
obvious
Add an article
the obvious
show examples
 drawback of
tv
Use synonyms
 is addictive.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 binge, many
people
Use synonyms
 tend to regret that they procrastinate the things more important. What is more, it leads to physical problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
 nibble
snacks
Change preposition
on snacks
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
Linking Words
 watching, resulting in obesity.
In addition
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of youngsters have a problem
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their body position which is caused by incompatible angles of bodies toward
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the screen. A Japanese X-ray doctor
say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
 that it is modern ill.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 shows and series are fascinating for everyone to chitchat
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their fields,
people
Use synonyms
 should not
Add a missing verb
be dependent
show examples
dependent
Replace the word
depend
show examples
 on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
otherwise
Linking Words
 physical health will get worse.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: