IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The advantage and disadvantage of watching TV. discuss both views and give your opinion

#advantage #tv
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The television
Correct article usage
Television
show examples
 makes
people
 relax and amuse
in
Correct pronoun usage
themselves in
show examples
 their leisure time.
However
, if individuals keep sitting in front of the
TV
, it might be
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 impact on their physical health.
This
essey
Correct your spelling
essay
 will examine its pros and cons, and as far as I am concerned,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tv
rime
Correct your spelling
time
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 should be limited since it is
dependence
Replace the word
dependent
show examples
.
Main
Correct article usage
The main
show examples
advantagerous
Correct your spelling
advantageous
advantages
 deal of
tv
 is a conversation opener.
This
 is because
tv
 programs are made for entertainment
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 regardless of
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
.
Thus
, it could be common
topics
Fix the agreement mistake
topic
show examples
 to talk
with
Change preposition
about with
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 friends and co-workers.
Furthermore
, watching
tv
 as a family can be quality time.
For example
, in Japan, the media is broadcasting comedies, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 enjoyed by all generations every Friday at seven pm, which expected all family members
stay
Fix the infinitive
to stay
show examples
 at home. Since
then
, the show is loved, and long
run
Replace the word
running
show examples
 for 50 years
until
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now as it is needed by the viewers. Yet,
obvious
Add an article
the obvious
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 drawback of
tv
 is addictive.
This
 is
due to
 binge, many
people
 tend to regret that they procrastinate the things more important. What is more, it leads to physical problems.
For instance
, if
people
 nibble
snacks
Change preposition
on snacks
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
 watching, resulting in obesity.
In addition
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of youngsters have a problem
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their body position which is caused by incompatible angles of bodies toward
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the screen. A Japanese X-ray doctor
say
Change the verb form
says
show examples
 that it is modern ill.
To conclude
,
although
 shows and series are fascinating for everyone to chitchat
at
Change preposition
in
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 their fields,
people
 should not
Add a missing verb
be dependent
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dependent
Replace the word
depend
show examples
 on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
otherwise
 physical health will get worse.
Submitted by forever26th on

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