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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some Children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development
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Nowadays,
due to
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 the vast number of hobbies available and the busy schedule of parents, some
children
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 spend
hours
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 on their
smartphones
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.
This
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 presents
children
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 with opportunities
as well as
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 challenges. It seems to me that
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 impacts outweigh the positives, and I will explain why in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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,
children
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 need to
content
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be content
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 with various health problems by spending
hours
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 on their
smartphones
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. These range from physical to mental issues.
For instance
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, the pose that
children
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 have
while
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 surfing on the internet
appear
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appears
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 to cause back and neck pain over
the
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apply
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time. Another common issue is the trouble
in
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apply
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falling asleep which is caused by looking
and
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at and
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screen
Correct article usage
the screen
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 for long
hours
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.
Furthermore
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,
children
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 need human interaction to develop social
skill
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skills
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,
thus
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 spending long
hours
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 on their
smartphones
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 won’t help
to
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apply
show examples
this
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 strand of development. The final and perhaps most significant problem is the fake role models they might pick up on
the
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apply
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social media platforms. By
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this
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,this
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 we mean that
,
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apply
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children
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 at young ages appear to be unable to identify
legitimacy
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the legitimacy
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 of the information they are receiving
thus
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 could be misleading and harmful to them. It is true that there are some positives to the use of
smartphones
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, most notably the vast amount of information and good hobbies available in many cases. Despite
this
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, it seems that for many youngsters these positives are outweighed by negative impacts which could harm their
overall
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wellbeing
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well-being
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.
To conclude
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, the physical and mental issues
together with
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 the need for social interaction are combined to make
overuse
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the overuse
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 of
smartphones
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 a potentially harmful experience for most
children
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.
This
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 is not to say that all
children
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 would suffer
this
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 way, but it appears to be the case very frequently.
Submitted by shojaeinejad_m on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
What to do next:
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