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Band 2.5

Some people think certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree

#people #prisoners #community #work #bars
Some
persons
 are of the opinion that unpaid
community
service
 in place of being placed behind
bars
 should be considered for certain prisoners. In my opinion, unpaid
community
service
 should be considered depending on the edge,nature of crime and status of
offence
Add an article
the offence
show examples
Community
service
 in place of being placed behind
bars
 can be considered for some
persons
, especially for offenders of young age who have acted out of ignorance and are
first time
Add a hyphen
first-time
show examples
 offenders. By involving
this
Change the determiner
this person
these persons
show examples
persons
 in unpaid
community
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
,they become of value to their
community
 providing
service
 that serves the need of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others.
This
also
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
 a humble and selfless character in them reducing the chance of
re offending
Add a hyphen
re-offending
show examples
while
 ensuring they still remain an integral member of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society,
thus
offers
Wrong verb form
offering
show examples
 them the opportunity of ensuring their future is not dented by the mistake they made,
for example
 having not served behind
bars
 gives them a fair chance of being gainfully employed
bin
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 a job of their choice,as some employers are
skeptical
Change the spelling
sceptical
show examples
 of employing
ex convicts
Add a hyphen
ex-convicts
show examples
.
While
 being placed behind
bars
 remains an option for some offenders,
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of unpaid
community
service
 for some
persons
 is an option which highly benefits
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by chidinmaelisha24 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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