It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you thing the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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As
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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living creature, human needs to improve many aspects of their lives to become
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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better person. To accomplish
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

pursuit, some risky actions or decisions are needed, especially in career and personal
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects

It seems that aspect may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. I believe that taking those
risks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would bring more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits

It seems that benefit may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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rather
that
Correct your spelling
than

The word that doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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its
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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drawbacks. In
office
Add an article
an office
the office

The noun phrase office environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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environment, people might encounter some opportunities that are essential for their career path in the future. It is believed that the opportunity does not only provide a promising outcome, but it
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

comes with many challenges and threats.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people will not grow if they never try and make mistakes. To take junior accounting as an example, when they are assigned to make an annual financial report, there is a possibility that they will make a mistake during the process. Despite the potential failure, the
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff

It seems that staffs may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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will always win because if they could finish the task successfully, it will be a good mark for them,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase otherwise. Consider adding a comma.

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they could learn from their mistake.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

professional
Add an article
the professional

The noun phrase professional area seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas

It seems that area may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, taking
risks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

pivotal in
personal
Correct pronoun usage
my personal

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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life. The fact that life is not easy has triggered people to evolve and keep growing. If they do not take some actions because they are afraid
with
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the consequences, they would not accomplish some functions in their developmental stage.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when babies learn to walk, they know that the process of learning might be painful.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they still do that anyway because they know that the results of the process will be very rewarding. That
how
Add a missing verb
is how

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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human perceives
risks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for their entire lives.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is true that
risks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

provide two opposing outcomes whether it is
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable

The spelling of favorable is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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or painful.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if we look
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Change preposition
at this

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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in a larger scope, both two outcomes still give valuable
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits

It seems that benefit may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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for human growth either professionally or personally.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, no matter how big the disadvantages might cause, the advantages of taking
risks
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are always superior.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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