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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the pie charts below show the devices that people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years.

the pie charts below show the devices that people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years.
#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years
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The given pie charts illustrate information about the benefit of six devices for watching
television
Use synonyms
 by adolescents to adults (18 to 25 age group) in Canada in 2009 and 2019. In accordance with the data, the
use
Use synonyms
 of Conventional
Tv
Use synonyms
 for watching
television
Use synonyms
 programs in 2009 was higher than in 2019. It was shown dramatically decreased from 34 % (2009) to 4 % (2019), and the gap between both years was 30%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the same trend
also
Linking Words
 happened to laptop and desktop computers which considerably declined from 20 % to 12 % and 18 % to 12 % respectively. There were gaps between both years : 8 % for laptops and 6 % for desktop computers.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some devices presented another trend.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the
use
Use synonyms
 of flat
tv
Use synonyms
 screens for watching
tv
Use synonyms
 by Canadians was extremely increased from 2009 to 2019 with percentages of 8% to 27 %. It was an increase of 19 %.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
use
Use synonyms
 of tablets
also
Linking Words
 rose by 14 % from 2009 to 2019 with a detailed proportion of 5 % to 19 %.
Lastly
Linking Words
,the
use
Use synonyms
 of mobile phones for watching
Tv
Use synonyms
 depicted the same trend with flat
tv
Use synonyms
 screens and tablets with a ratio from 15 % to 26 % (2009 to 2019). It was shown that there was an increase of 11 % from that device,
Overall
Linking Words
, in 2019 Canadians tend to
use
Use synonyms
 Flat
Tv
Use synonyms
 screens for watching
television
Use synonyms
 more than conventional
Tv
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they love to
use
Use synonyms
 tablets and mobile phones for doing that activity.
While
Linking Words
 they were not interested in watching
television
Use synonyms
 using laptops and desktop computers as they did in 2009.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words television, use, tv with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pie charts
  • 18 to 25 age group
  • devices
  • watch television
  • Canada
  • comparison
  • shift
  • preferences
  • mobile devices
  • traditional televisions
  • technological advancements
  • television viewing habits
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