IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays we see an increase in social problems involving teenagers. Many people believe that it is because parents spend more time at work and less with their children. Do you agree or disagree?

#teenagers #people #parents #time #work #children
In
this
 present world, we recognize the rate of rapid growth
use
 of social
platforms
 regarding youth. Numerous people consider that it's
due to
parents
' focus on working and less looking after their
kids
. I personally agree with
this
 statement as
parents
 are not solely accountable for taking care of their
kids
,
as well as
 they educate their
children
 to
use
 social
platforms
.
Firstly
,
parents
use
 their time to work in the office more than stay at home to get on well with their
children
. Because they just follow the standard of society in order to hunt for success quickly
as a result
 from they can't balance their life and their work.
For example
,
According to
 the standard of society, people need to have nice cars and houses prior to 30 ages, it's led to people have peer pressure and dedicate to working in the office.
Therefore
, they neglect to take care of their
children
.
Secondly
, they will educate their
kids
 on how to
use
 social
platforms
 to avoid negating things that affect their
children
.
Moreover
, they will need to track social
kids
' activities in order to prevent bad things and guide them to gain some knowledge to adapt to in the future.
For instance
, they need to check day-by-day the
children
's
platforms
 associated with the government to cooperate together to protect and develop
children
's skills in their country.
Thus
, they need to be educated using social
platforms
. In conclusion, Despite the evidence that few individuals can express their ideas and emotions without the guidance of
parents
.
Parents
 should spend a considerable amount of time with
children
, to nurture them in an effective way by inculcating a variety of soft skills which in turn help them to become better citizens of society.
Submitted by nguyenhungvy090499 on

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