Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects and develop knowledge. But other people think that they should only learn a small number of subjects in detail. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #children #range #subjects #detail

In these present schools, there are various types of subjects that students study, some people consider those senior school children should focus on learning designated courses rather than an assortment

Change preposition

of branch

show examples

branch

Fix the agreement mistake

branches

show examples

of learning, but others insist that a diverse curriculum can help to expand pupils'

knowledge

. In my view, I support the latter one and I will discuss both views in the following essay.

To begin

with, pupils learning scoped courses in detail has a positive impact on content digestion.

For instance

, learning English requires tons of time to practice so students are more likely to achieve better grades if English classes are arranged

further

Therefore

, learning within the selected subject area has advantages to

master

Wrong verb form

mastering

show examples

relevant

knowledge

better.

On the other hand

, The limitation of children's understanding of the world makes it difficult for them to discover their enthusiasm,

therefore

the more

knowledge

they receive the more probabilities they are able to find the direction they have passion.

For example

, Steve Jobs had the opportunity to access mechanical

knowledge

when he was a kid which stimulated his passion for computer

sciences

Fix the agreement mistake

science

show examples

and made him a person who changed the world.

Thus

, exposure to different disciplines during childhood can help cultivate and explore the offspring's

interests

. In conclusion, learning a broad range of subjects is able to develop students'

interests

by contrast

, stripped curriculums which focus on particular courses are conducive to improving pupils' levels.

However

, I support children accepting more subjects to find out their

interests

, because I believe the

interests

are the best teacher.

Submitted by 15280151 on Mon Apr 10 2023

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The proportion of monthly household income five European countries spend on food and drink, housing, clothing and entertainment.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security. Others think that people cannot expect to enjoy a job and that having a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that vertical city is best where people can live, while others say that horizontal cities are better. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.