IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think the government should focus on improving the economy of the country. Other people think that government should focus on social services such as health and education programs. Which statement do you agree with? Explain and provide examples to support your opinion.

#people #government #focus #economy #country #services #health #education #programs #support
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The
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economy
Replace the word
economic
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acpect
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aspect
 should be prioritized by
government
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the government
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 in improving the
country
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. Some
people
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 assume that social services are much better to be given more attention in
this
Linking Words
 program. I personally agree on both sides, which I will elaborate more on below. On the one hand, the fundamental
aspect
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in
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of
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 developing the
country
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 is when the
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economy
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economic
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aspect
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 is stable. It is because many other aspects would rely on money to run it.
Such
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 as infrastructure and poverty rates,
people
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 expect to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good infrastructure in order to ease them in running their activities.
This
Linking Words
 situation is
also
Linking Words
 becoming a tool to boost the
economy
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 in each part of society. Another point, If the
country
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 is stable in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the economy
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economy
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economic
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aspect
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, it would
eardicate
Correct your spelling
eradicate
 poverties which do not basically have
a
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apply
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sufficient money to cover their living cost. In
this
Linking Words
 case, the government could take an action to remove the rate of poverties and they could
also
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 be given
Correct article usage
the oportunity
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oportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to work in order to have a sufficient budget.
On the other hand
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, education must be included in
case
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the case
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 of improving the
country
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 because the
eduaction
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education
educational
aspect
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 is a key to
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
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 the quality of
human
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the human
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resource
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resources
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.
In addition
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, the problems which appear in
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country
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the country
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 could be solved by
well- educated
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well-educated
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people
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.
For instance
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, many scientists contribute to inventing a vaccine in order to solve covid-19. Apart from that
the
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apply
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health service is
also
Linking Words
priority
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a priority
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.
For example
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, some
people
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 who suffer a serious
desease
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disease
 must be treated well
from
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in
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 the hospital. Some conditions appear that lack of facilities from the hospital becomes a problem for society in getting a better service;
therefore
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, they are suggested to go
another
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to another
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 hospital to obtain
Correct article usage
the rightly
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rightly
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right
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 treatment. In conclusion, both
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the economy
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economy
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economic
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aspect
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 and social services are essential to improve the quality of the
country
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 because they have
significant
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a significant
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 impact on development in whole aspects.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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