IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think the government should focus on improving the economy of the country. Other people think that government should focus on social services such as health and education programs. Which statement do you agree with? Explain and provide examples to support your opinion.

#people #government #focus #economy #country #services #health #education #programs #support
The
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
acpect
Correct your spelling
aspect
 should be prioritized by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 in improving the
country
. Some
people
 assume that social services are much better to be given more attention in
this
 program. I personally agree on both sides, which I will elaborate more on below. On the one hand, the fundamental
aspect
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 developing the
country
 is when the
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
aspect
 is stable. It is because many other aspects would rely on money to run it.
Such
 as infrastructure and poverty rates,
people
 expect to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good infrastructure in order to ease them in running their activities.
This
 situation is
also
 becoming a tool to boost the
economy
 in each part of society. Another point, If the
country
 is stable in
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
aspect
, it would
eardicate
Correct your spelling
eradicate
 poverties which do not basically have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
sufficient money to cover their living cost. In
this
 case, the government could take an action to remove the rate of poverties and they could
also
 be given
Correct article usage
the oportunity
show examples
oportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to work in order to have a sufficient budget.
On the other hand
, education must be included in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of improving the
country
 because the
eduaction
Correct your spelling
education
educational
aspect
 is a key to
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 the quality of
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
.
In addition
, the problems which appear in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 could be solved by
well- educated
Correct your spelling
well-educated
show examples
people
.
For instance
, many scientists contribute to inventing a vaccine in order to solve covid-19. Apart from that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health service is
also
priority
Add an article
a priority
show examples
.
For example
, some
people
 who suffer a serious
desease
Correct your spelling
disease
 must be treated well
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the hospital. Some conditions appear that lack of facilities from the hospital becomes a problem for society in getting a better service;
therefore
, they are suggested to go
another
Change preposition
to another
show examples
 hospital to obtain
Correct article usage
the rightly
show examples
rightly
Change the word
right
show examples
 treatment. In conclusion, both
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
aspect
 and social services are essential to improve the quality of the
country
 because they have
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 impact on development in whole aspects.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: