IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

#deforestation #development #species #habitat #point #extinction #animals #measures
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the years we have seen massive ignorance from humans in terms of protecting other species. We have been indulged in some grave activities like deforestation, urban development and hunting, that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 endangered numerous species and even brought a few to the brink of extinction.
This
Linking Words
 practice should be widely discouraged as the preservation of wildlife is of utmost importance. Steps should be taken at a higher level to discourage these inhumane practices before it becomes too late. Mankind needs to comprehend the fact that mother earth belongs to humans and animals alike. Protection of their natural habitat and disregarding cruel practices like hunting should be every individual’s responsibility. That’s because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wildlife is of utmost importance to sustain the
overall
Linking Words
 ecosystem. Without animals, we would run out of essentials like food and water. In short,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human survival is dependent on the survival of other species as both are codependent. All
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world leaders should solemnly and swiftly come on a single page to protect wildlife. They should devise strict rules and policies and should impose heavy penalties to ensure adherence. Some of the countries in the world have already introduced
such
Linking Words
 controls.
For example
Linking Words
, in Kenya, a person guilty of hunting elephants is given a sentence of life imprisonment. To recapitulate, it is undeniable that animals play a vital role in the sustainability of our environment. Protecting them from direct or indirect harm should be taken seriously, not only on an individual level
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 on a government level.
Submitted by abeera.ejaz1234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: