IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they release from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

#criminals #crimes #release #prison
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Nowadays, some offenders are likely to offend again after they are released from prison, I consider it's
due to
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 they are lacking vocational skills to survive and the government should provide them with more career guides to solve the problem. I will discuss it in detail in
this
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 essay.
To begin
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 with, I believe most criminals are arrested because their way of making money is illegal, which means, it is difficult for them to live if their illegal means of livelihood is prohibited.
For instance
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, there is a report shows thefts are the most vulnerable group to commit crimes again because most of them have no ability to find a suitable job.
Therefore
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, the main reason for recidivism is those criminals couldn't find another way for living. My suggestion is the government should help offenders find employment again.
For example
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, communities could provide them with some vocational training or contact co-ops to hire them, once they have a steady job, they will not be likely to commit
further
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, and the frequency of recidivism can
also
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 decrease
as a result
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. In conclusion, the main reason criminals choose to offend again is they don't have employment skills, and I think
this
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 situation can be improved by offering more vocational education opportunities to them.
Submitted by 15280151 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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