IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they release from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

#criminals #crimes #release #prison
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Multiple law offenders are often observed committing crimes in a minimum span after they leave jail. In
this
essay
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,essay
show examples
 I intend to highlight the reasons for the same and what steps can be taken to ensure the same incident never gets repeated. A proper rehabilitation course must be set up for prisoners prior to being released to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Yoga and meditation should
included
Change the verb form
be included
include
show examples
 in
this
 course so that they develop patience
as well as
 sympathy in optimum
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
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while
 interacting with other
people
. Prisons are nowadays called
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
correctional facilities since the intention of these institutions is
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
 the prisoners a better human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
.
However
,
government
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the government
show examples
 must adopt procedures for achieving
this
 aim.
Moreover
, normal folks need to be enlightened about the ways they should treat a criminal after they are released.
For
instance
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,instance
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 many parents can be seen pulling their wards away from these
people
 as they are scared of any possible harm that can happen to
children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
. An opportunity to intermingle with kids is peaceful
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and is
therefore
 recommended for everyone. A sympathetic behaviour exhibited towards released prisoners is a vital step in making the world
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 beautiful place to live in. When an individual sees that he is welcomed with open hands, he may change the way he looks at them.
Thirdly
 many corporations
has
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have
show examples
 written
as well as
 unwritten rules that they are not interested in hiring
people
 who
has
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have
show examples
 been to jail. Government must ensure that
this
 should stop, with additional modules in place to help these
people
 to get a job, with renewed ambition.
To conclude
, the entire society must join hands with the state
as well as
national
Add an article
the national
show examples
 government for ensuring nobody commits those crimes again.
Submitted by anupriyahalder on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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