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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities.
#results #survey #people #coffee #tea #habits #five #australian #cities
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The bar chart illustrates the three different active models
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 purchasing
Use synonyms
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 and tea in terms of the percentages of citizens in five Australian
cities
Use synonyms
: Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide, and Hobart.
Overall
Linking Words
, going to a
cafe
Use synonyms
’ for coffee and tea is the most
orient
Replace the word
oriented
show examples
 in every
Use synonyms
cities
Change to a singular noun
city
show examples
 given except Adelaide. In opposite, drinking instant
coffees
Fix the agreement mistake
coffee
show examples
 is the less popular option in these five
cities
Use synonyms
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Melbourne’s citizens have the greatest proportion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 visiting
cafe
Use synonyms
 shops to buy beverages, approximately 63%. Almost every city
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 more than half
residents
Change preposition
of residents
show examples
 will go to
cafe
Use synonyms
 stores in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 four weeks, but not the case in Adelaide. About 49%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 go to
cafe
Use synonyms
 shops there,
underneath
Change preposition
under
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half, which is the lowest ratio in these five
cities
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, taking fresh
coffees
Fix the agreement mistake
coffee
show examples
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 four weeks is unusual in every
Use synonyms
cities
Change to a singular noun
city
show examples
espically
Correct your spelling
especially
 in Brisbane, which has less than 35%
citizens
Change preposition
of citizens
show examples
, the lowest rate,
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
do that. There is a negative relation between buying fresh
Use synonyms
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 and instant
Use synonyms
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
. The
cities
Use synonyms
 which have a ratio below 40%( Brisbane,
Adelaido
Correct your spelling
Adelaide
, and Hobart) to drink fresh
Use synonyms
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
 have a
relative
Replace the word
relatively
show examples
 bigger percentage of people
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
Use synonyms
cafe
Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
show examples
, more than 50%. And the opposite situation
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 in Sydney and Melbourne.
Submitted by andersontsaitw on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cafe, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • survey results
  • coffee and tea buying habits
  • instant coffee
  • fresh coffee
  • cafe culture
  • social influences
  • economic factors
  • city demographics
  • seasonal trends
  • marketing strategies
  • consumer preferences
  • availability
  • popularity
  • consumption patterns
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