In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Humans had a similar
diet
for thousands of years.
However
, the
last
50 years have seen a radical change in our
diet
and the consequences have not gone amiss. Governments are embattled in health issues of their citizens and no one seems to know what to do. Yet, the solution is not beyond us. Nowadays a plethora of fast
food
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
easily reachable in the majority of cities. It represents a viable option for
low-middle class
Add a hyphen
low-middle-class
show examples
families to eat a warm dish outside the monotony of eating
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
show examples
food
at
cheap
Correct article usage
a cheap
show examples
price. Governments should face the possibility of imposing
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
higher taxation considering every aspect of
this
social problem,
therefore
sustaining financially healthy fast foods, replacing in a constructive way the incalculable amount of junk
food
that is
currently swallowed by millions of people. The impact derived
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
the exceeding consumption of fatty and salty
food
is a burden for the collectivity. As a matter of fact,
such
a vicious
diet
leads to many terrible diseases
such
as; diabetes and arterial occlusion. These can be
life threatening
Add a hyphen
life-threatening
show examples
pathologies that have to be treated for long periods, sometimes with the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
hospitalisation.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
the money needed to provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
proper sanitary assistance to all these ill people is outstandingly high.
Therefore
, undoubtedly governments should take some sturdy decisions about it,
nevertheless
respecting people’s
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
and freedom and giving options and incentives to poor people in order to allow them to be able to provide a healthy
diet
to their families and dear ones, for their health and for
collective
Add an article
the collective
show examples
good.
Submitted by gianlucadebonis96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: