some people believe that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #illness #disease #governments #focus #pollution

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is true that most respiratory problems come from

pollution

While

I accept that to prevent

illnesses

and

diseases

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

should focus on reducing

pollution

, I strongly believe that there are much better ways to keep

people

being

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from being

show examples

infected. As we live in urbanization, everyone can see

construction

Add an article

the construction

show examples

of premises in every

parts

Change to a singular noun

part

show examples

of the world, and it has adverse

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

quality

Add an article

the quality

show examples

of air

as well as

water contamination. First and foremost,

government

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the government

show examples

should reduce

construction

Add an article

the construction

show examples

of buildings in order to improve

quality

Correct article usage

the quality

show examples

of air and water.

Furthermore

, poor quality of air and water is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

root of

diseases

and

illnesses

related to

gut

Correct article usage

the gut

show examples

and lungs.

For example

, factories produced toxic gases which eroded

ozone

Correct article usage

the ozone

show examples

layer and pollute

atmosphere

Correct article usage

the atmosphere

show examples

, if

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

would able to cut

construction

Correct article usage

the construction

show examples

of amenities and

production

Correct article usage

the production

show examples

of toxins, it helps to enhance our nature and environment, and it

lead

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leads

show examples

to change for the better.

On the other hand

, there

quite

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are quite

show examples

a lot of fundamental methods to prevent

diseases

and

illnesses

, and improve

overall

Add an article

the overall

show examples

health of citizens. One way is

informing

Change the verb form

to inform

show examples

individuals about current

diseases

, and they can take steps. Take as an example Covid-19,

this

disease emerged on purpose and it is not

came

Wrong verb form

come

show examples

from

pollution

or housing problems. Ministry organization arranged awareness events, and warned about

dangers

Correct article usage

the dangers

show examples

this

disease on social media and on TV

such

as "stay at home" and "quarantine". The second way is allocating money

Change preposition

show examples

pharmacy

Fix the agreement mistake

pharmacies

show examples

and for

construction

Correct article usage

the construction

show examples

of gyms so that

people

can take benefits.

For instance

, by improving vaccines and building fitness areas

people

can improve their general health. In conclusion, focusing on decreasing

pollution

and

construction

issues is one of the decent methods to prevent

spreading

Correct article usage

the spreading

show examples

diseases

and

illnesses

while

there are more virtuous ways to keep

people

being

Change preposition

from being

show examples

infected.

Submitted by gulihabibullayeva6 on Tue Apr 11 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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"Some people believe that technology has made life easier, while others argue that it has complicated our lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Fresh water has become a global problem for the world. What are the causes of it? What measures government and individual should take to resolve the problem ? Give reasons and examples for your answer.