some people believe that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is true that most respiratory problems come from

pollution

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While

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I accept that to prevent

illnesses

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and

diseases

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authority

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authorities

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should focus on reducing

pollution

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, I strongly believe that there are much better ways to keep

people

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being

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from being

show examples

infected. As we live in urbanization, everyone can see

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construction

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the construction

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of premises in every

parts

Change to a singular noun

part

show examples

of the world, and it has adverse

effect

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effects

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for

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show examples

quality

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the quality

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of air

as well as

Linking Words

water contamination. First and foremost,

government

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the government

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should reduce

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construction

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the construction

show examples

of buildings in order to improve

quality

Correct article usage

the quality

show examples

of air and water.

Furthermore

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, poor quality of air and water is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

root of

diseases

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and

illnesses

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related to

gut

Correct article usage

the gut

show examples

and lungs.

For example

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, factories produced toxic gases which eroded

ozone

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the ozone

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layer and pollute

atmosphere

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the atmosphere

show examples

, if

government

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the government

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would able to cut

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construction

Correct article usage

the construction

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of amenities and

production

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the production

show examples

of toxins, it helps to enhance our nature and environment, and it

lead

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leads

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to change for the better.

On the other hand

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, there

quite

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are quite

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a lot of fundamental methods to prevent

diseases

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and

illnesses

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, and improve

Linking Words

overall

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the overall

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health of citizens. One way is

informing

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to inform

show examples

individuals about current

diseases

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, and they can take steps. Take as an example Covid-19,

this

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disease emerged on purpose and it is not

came

Wrong verb form

come

show examples

from

pollution

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or housing problems. Ministry organization arranged awareness events, and warned about

dangers

Correct article usage

the dangers

show examples

this

Linking Words

disease on social media and on TV

such

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as "stay at home" and "quarantine". The second way is allocating money

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show examples

pharmacy

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pharmacies

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and for

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construction

Correct article usage

the construction

show examples

of gyms so that

people

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can take benefits.

For instance

Linking Words

, by improving vaccines and building fitness areas

people

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can improve their general health. In conclusion, focusing on decreasing

pollution

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and

construction

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issues is one of the decent methods to prevent

spreading

Correct article usage

the spreading

show examples

diseases

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and

illnesses

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while

Linking Words

there are more virtuous ways to keep

people

Use synonyms

being

Change preposition

from being

show examples

infected.

gulihabibullayeva6Tue Apr 11 2023

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

preventive healthcare
environmental regulations
respiratory diseases
public health policies
sanitation facilities
urban planning
communicable diseases
socio-economic factors
sustainable development
government intervention
healthcare infrastructure
industrial emissions
air quality index
affordable housing
mental wellbeing

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some people believe that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants are declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved

The most importance aim of science should be to improve peoples lives to what extent do you agree os disagree with this statements

The values that we learn from our parents and family have greater influence on our future success than knowledge and skills we learn at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that the high levels of violence in films today are causing serious social problems. What are these problems and how could they be reduced?