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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this

#countries #people #work #travel #year #school #university #studies
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In some countries, elders encourage the younger generation to spend about a year working or travelling after graduating high school and preparing for college. In my opinion,
this
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 has disadvantages, but it brings many benefits to young
people
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. On the one hand, the fact that inexperienced
people
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 go to
work
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 early has effects on their future. They have less time to study than their peers so their future employment opportunities are less than their university counterparts.
Moreover
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, the risks that young adults can face are many. They may get into financial debt, or they may be seduced to do non-serious jobs. In the case of young
people
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 who spend that time travelling, it is inevitable to spend money because they cannot make money yet.
On the other hand
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, going to
work
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 soon or travelling has many benefits for teenagers. Youth who get used to the job early have more experience in the future. They know how to save money because they try too hard to get a salary.
Furthermore
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, some of their skills are developed
such
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 as communication, problem-solving, time and financial management. Not only that, they are more open-minded and find out their strengths and weaknesses. The job opportunities for these
people
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 are not few. They can find good jobs because they gain a lot of knowledge by going to
work
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. In conclusion, the teenager can consider the pros and cons of going to
work
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 early and travelling after high school to make the right decision. In my opinion,
this
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 is helpful for the inexperienced so they should do that.
Submitted by anhnguhongmai on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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