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In the past shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is positive trend?

#people #hobby #trend
In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task.
However
, it is believed to be a hobby nowadays. In my opinion,
while
 I agree that
this
 is a positive tendency, I
also
 think that
this
 has some drawbacks. Advocates of
this
 idea base their ground on the fact that spending
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping helps
people
 reduce
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
show examples
. To be specific, if a student studies a lot, he needs some physical exercises in order to not be under pressure. When he goes shopping, it means he can walk around and their eyes don’t concentrate on one thing until he finds the suitable thing. During that
time
,
people
 will have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
 to relax and spend
time
 doing what they really like.
On the other hand
, if
people
 do shopping so much, they will lack
time
 for other activities. It is illustrated by the fact that if a housewife just worries about shopping, she will not have enough
time
 to take care
her
Change preposition
of her
show examples
 family. Because of
this
, there might be some arguments that happen unexpectedly.
Moreover
, if the officers focus on shopping, they just think about what to buy and the
time
 has a special discount.
As a result
, officers will not pay
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
attention to the work as long as their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 things with a suitable price are in their pocket. All in all, it is obvious that shopping
becomes
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 a hobby is not a big problem if
people
 can balance
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their
time
 for work and their
time
 for relaxing in a reasonable way.
Submitted by kakaka03 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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