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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the main methods of transport of people traveling to one university in 2004 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The charts show the main methods of transport of people traveling to one university in 2004 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
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The pie chart illustrates
the
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apply
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information about how people commuted to a particular
univeysity
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university
 in 2004 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, cars were selected by the majority of people in 2004.
However
Linking Words
, buses became dominant in 2009.
Fisrt
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First
, cars were selected by the majority of commuters to the university as a means
transport
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of transport
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 in 2004, 51%. Though, the
persentage
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percentage
 of car users reduced to 28% in 2009 and became the second largest section. Moving onto the next section  of
bus
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the bus
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, it was responsible for 33% of the chart in 2004.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, there was a significant increase of 13% in the bus section in 2009. As for the part of
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the bicycle
a bicycle
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bicycle
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bicycles
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, the figures amounted to just 9% in 2004.
Then
Linking Words
 the number of commuters who prefer bikes  accounted for 16% in 2009. In terms of walking, in 2004 only 4 % of the chart belonged  to
this
Linking Words
 unit,
while
Linking Words
 the percentage reached
to
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apply
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6 % in 2009. 
Futhermore
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Furthermore
, travelling by train was
choosen
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chosen
 by the
lest
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least
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percent
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per cent
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 of people in both 2004 and 2009, comprising 3 and 4 % respectively.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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