IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average percentage in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
#show #percentage #meals #three #nutrients
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
the pie charts illustrate the
amount
 of three
substance
Fix the agreement mistake
substances
show examples
 in our daily
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 which might inappropriate for us if we consume them more than usual.
sodium
 is the first item
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
illustrated by
chart
Add an article
the chart
show examples
.
according to
statistics
Add a comma
,statistics
show examples
 there is 43%
sodium
 at
dinner
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is
maximum
Add an article
the maximum
show examples
amount
. both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
breakfast
 and
snacks
 contain
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same percentage of
this
 nutrient
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is 14%. lunch consists
double
Change preposition
of double
show examples
sodium
 in comparison with
breakfast
 and
snacks
.
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
this
 , saturated fat forms 37% of
dinner
 and there is a constant
amount
 of it in both
snacks
 and
breakfast
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is 21% and 26%. the minimum
amount
 of it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in the lunch
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is 16%. the maximum of added sugar
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
in
snacks
 and in both
breakfast
 and lunch is approximately
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same
amount
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is 16 and 19
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
dinner
 consists of 23 % of
this
 kind of
nutrients
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrient
show examples
.
overall
 pie charts show us that the high levels of
sodium
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 at
dinner
while
 the maximum of saturated fat and added sugar are in
dinner
 and
snacks
.
in contrast
 the minimum of
sodium
 and saturated fat and added sugar are in
breakfast
.
Submitted by aamin.1245 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, sodium, dinner, breakfast, snacks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: