IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that a significant difference between a parent’s age and their child's age is a good thing. Do you think the advantages of a significant age gap outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
Linking Words
 present world, the economic pressure brought by housing prices has made young
people
Use synonyms
 more willing to focus on work rather than start a family, which has led to a tendency of late marriage.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who marry late will have a big
age
Use synonyms
 gap with their offspring, and some consider it can bring advantages. In my opinion,
although
Linking Words
 a large
age
Use synonyms
 gap may lead to losing common topics between
parents
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
, I still consider its benefits outweigh its drawbacks because those senior
parents
Use synonyms
 are able to accompany their kids more.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
life
Use synonyms
circle
Use synonyms
 of those young
parents
Use synonyms
 may affect the time to stay with their
children
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, playing video games and going to bars are very popular among young groups, and sometimes it is difficult for younger reject invitations from their
circle
Use synonyms
,
by contrast
Linking Words
, older
parents
Use synonyms
 usually have a
life
Use synonyms
circle
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and tends
show examples
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
 to organise family activities.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, older
parents
Use synonyms
 are more likely to accompany their offspring and it is quite important for their heir's growth.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is common to see there are rarely common topics between
people
Use synonyms
 who have a big
life
Use synonyms
 disparity.
For example
Linking Words
, older
people
Use synonyms
 like traditional things
such
Linking Words
 as watching opera,
while
Linking Words
 younger like modish things.
This
Linking Words
 may
also
Linking Words
 occur in families with significant
age
Use synonyms
 differences. But I think the barrier can be broken as long as these older
parents
Use synonyms
 maintain a young mindset and keep communicating with their offspring more.
In addition
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 learn useful
life
Use synonyms
 experiences from their
parents
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, A family-centred
life
Use synonyms
circle
Use synonyms
 of older
parents
Use synonyms
 gives them more time to accompany their
children
Use synonyms
's growth. Despite families with excessive
age
Use synonyms
 differences
may
Correct pronoun usage
that may
show examples
 lack common topics, long-term companionship and communication can solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe the advantages of a significant
age
Use synonyms
 gap are greater than their disadvantages.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: