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Band 4.5

The government should lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education. To what extent do you agree?

#government #budget #arts #money #education
Some people argue that our public institutions should reduce the allocation of capital
on
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to
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 the arts to top up the budget
in
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for
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 education. In my opinion, at first sight, it could help to reach some short-term challenges faced in our schools.
However
,
i
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I
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 doubt
wether
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whether
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decrease
Wrong verb form
decreasing
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 another important aspect of our society is a good idea in the long run. Indeed, I'm convinced that extra funds in our universities or schools could represent a big step onward for the future generation of students. In my own experience, I have
know
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known
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 friends who could not study in the field that they desired because of
professors'
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professors
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 shortages.
Furthermore
, in the
last
 couple of weeks, recent thrives have confirmed that some teachers are not aware of intense poverty and that their financial health should be prioritised.
On the other hand
, I believe that cultural purposes are as important as educational ones. Actually, I agree with experts illustrating the benefits of arts in the learning process.
For example
, I read a newspaper article on
advantages
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the advantages
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 that children who painted have regarding their academic grades. When it comes to solutions, I think that another category of public funding should drop. Rather than focus our money on the artistic culture, we could hardly decrease our military budget. With
this
last
 statement, I'm sure that would benefit our country more than ever. Who doesn't dream to live without wars ?
To sum up
, for me, both education and
arts
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the arts
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 are important to meet our
long term
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long-term
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 goals.
However
,
on
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in
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 the
fourt
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fourth
four
 paragraph, I decided to think about a specific topic to try to fix our principal problem.
Submitted by diego.merino.dc on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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