IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some feel that movies and TV shows are a good way to study history despite their lack of historical accuracy at times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#feel #movies #tv #study #history #lack #accuracy #times
It is felt
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
that
although
 they have some flaws in historical preciseness,
movies
 and TV programmes are appropriate sources to learn
history
. I mostly disagree with
this
 suggestion because these sources
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only making failure in timing accuracy
while
 they explain the
incidents
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history
. Generally,
film-makers
Correct your spelling
filmmakers
show examples
 may distort some truths to attract viewers
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 using patriotism and nationalism and they may omit many
incidents
 in favour of better fiction.
Firstly
, in these videos, some affairs may be reflected without accuracy by directors. These applications often use for appealing
new
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to new
show examples
 viewers and keeping their attention
to
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on
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 these
movies
.
For instance
, some groups may perform more patriotic behaviour than the real or leaders may show
pure
Correct article usage
a pure
show examples
 nationalist
attitude
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attitudes
show examples
 which
was not happened
Change to the active voice
did not happen
has not happened
show examples
 in
history
.
In addition
,
race praising
Add a hyphen
race-praising
show examples
 scenes are used for attracting viewers to boast
themselves
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about themselves
show examples
 in some countries. In short, these
movies
 may manipulate people
in
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into
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 watching
instead
 of giving real information.
Secondly
, many substantial
incidents
 have
skipped
Add a missing verb
been skipped
show examples
 in these streams. Admittedly, these
movies
 have been created often for commercial achievement and
incidents
 are based on
fictions
Fix the agreement mistake
fiction
show examples
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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real happenings.
Thus
, their narrations and explanations have not depended on happened historical events. To illustrate that, many historical films usually avoid struggling events even though they
was
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were
show examples
 significant in the historical sources, rather, they mention triumphs and conquers.
Therefore
, it leads to misleading information which is
reverse
Wrong verb form
reversed
show examples
 to
current
Add an article
the current
a current
show examples
of
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apply
show examples
history
 and it is not useful to learn. In conclusion, causes and examples can be multiplied with
this
 suggestion.
Although
 studying
history
with
Change preposition
through
show examples
 films and shows is easy and entertaining for people, in my opinion, it is not proper for exact learning
due to
 flaws in their explanations and lacks in their
fictions
Fix the agreement mistake
fiction
show examples
.
Instead
 of these streams, documentaries may be better for enthusiasts in favour of learning
history
. 46 dk.
Submitted by metehancakiroglu3435 on

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