the diagram below shows the process for recycling plastic bottles.

the diagram below shows the process for recycling plastic bottles.
The figure illustrates the full process of recycling plastic
bottles
.
It is clear that
the process contains nine stages and in each
stage
Add a comma
,stage
show examples
a specific activity will be done
such
as sorting and heating. First of all, individuals put their used
bottles
in the garbage bin
then
the special lorries carried the
bottles
to the recycling centre
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
the
bottles
will be sorted and the ones that are appropriate will be sent to the next step. The gathered
bottles
are compressed into blocks and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
the blocks are Crushed by a special machine.
Moreover
, after they will be washed , they are converted to pellets by a machine and after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
by applying heat to the plastic pellets the raw material will be formed. After all the raw materials will be used to make new merchandise
such
as
bottles
, T-shirts and pencils , so the cycle will be continued again and again.
Submitted by arsalan.azizzadeh on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words bottles with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recycling
  • mitigate
  • environmental impact
  • landfills
  • conservation
  • sorted
  • residual waste
  • adhesives
  • shredded
  • pellets
  • manufacturing
  • ecological
  • economical
  • sustainable
  • automation
  • raw material
  • life cycle
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