IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The Restoration of old buildings in major cities around the world costs governments billions of dollars while this money should have been used for new housing and road development.To what extent do you agree or disagree to this statement?

#restoration #buildings #cities #world #costs #governments #billions #dollars #money #road #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary times, the development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 technology has led to
modernization
Add an article
the modernization
show examples
 of the world. Government and other ruling authorities spend an extravagant amount of money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 improving the infrastructure of major cities.
This
 involves
Correct article usage
the rennovation
show examples
rennovation
Correct your spelling
renovation
 of historic
bulidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 for the purpose of
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 and changing the view of cities.
However
, some believe that
this
 money should be spent on new housing schemes and roads. I advocate
this
 ideology for various reasons.
To commence
Fix the infinitive
Commence
show examples
 with, increasing economic instability in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing countries
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is a leading cause of depleting governments' resources. Restoration of old properties involves increasing
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
 of electrical energy and power.
This
 results in diminishing countries' fuel to survive.
For instance
, many
buildings
 in Karachi were renewed in 2013 and it was
followwed
Correct your spelling
followed
 by massive load shedding in major cities of the country.
Furthermore
, newly built settlements have the benefit of surviving natural
hazardous
Replace the word
hazards
show examples
,
such
 as earthquakes and floods, partly
due to
advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements
show examples
 in technology.
In contrast
, old
buildings
 are more prone to
detrimental
Correct article usage
the detrimental
show examples
 effects of environmental breakdown.
For instance
, most old structures in Turkey were destroyed
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
 year
due to
Correct article usage
an earthquake
show examples
earthquake
Fix the agreement mistake
earthquakes
show examples
.
In contrast
, building new houses and accommodating setups provide a modernized look to the city. Better
roads
Change the noun form
road
show examples
 development prevents traffic hustle and provides beauty and compartmentalization of the city.
For instance
, Dubai the government of Dubai has worked over years to make new
buildings
 that attract thousands of tourists every year.
To conclude
,
rennovating
Correct your spelling
renovating
 aged establishments require time and energy,
whereas
, introducing new
buildings
 in a city, reflects
systematic
Correct article usage
a systematic
show examples
 approach and can be lucrative to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. Government should spend its resources in a
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
wiser way.
Submitted by Mominamajid521 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: