IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie charts indicate changes in the proportions of energy produced in a country from 1983 to 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts indicate changes in the proportions of energy produced in a country from 1983 to 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#changes #proportions #energy #country #information #features #comparisons
The pie diagrams present data on the composition of
energy
 production in a certain country in two distinct periods, 1983 and 2003.
Overall
, oil constituted the largest proportion of
energy
 produced in the nation in
both
 years,
while
 the proportional share of coal and natural
gas
 experienced a significant change. In
both
 years, 1983 and 2003, oil was the dominant
energy
 source, making up about 40% of total production, followed by coal at 23% in 1983 and nuclear power at 24% in 2003.
However
, the drop
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 oil dominance and the rise in nuclear power are noticeable, as oil’s contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
energy
Correct article usage
the energy
show examples
 sector reduced from 42% in 1983 to 38% in 2003, and the share of nuclear power rose from 20% in 1983 to 24% in 2003.
However
, by 2003, the scenario had shifted dramatically for
both
 coal and natural
gas
. The percentage of coal
energy
 was 23
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1983, which remarkably dropped to 13% in 2003,
while
 the share of natural
gas
 in the nation’s
energy
 contribution considerably increased from 11% in 1983 to 21% in 2003, depicting the nation’s obvious move from coal towards natural
gas
 for its
energy
 composition.
However
, the contribution of Hydropower
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the nation’s
energy
 generation remained the same (4%) in
both
 periods.
Submitted by maria.defreitas08 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, both, gas with synonyms.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportions
  • energy sources
  • increases
  • decreases
  • trends
  • analysis
  • significant
  • compare
  • changes over time
  • introduction
  • phase out
What to do next:
Look at other essays: