IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Do you think businesses should hire employees who will spend their entire lives working for the company? Explain why you agree or disagree. Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

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There are many discussions
to
Change preposition
on
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buissnesses
Correct your spelling
businesses
 should hire and deal with employees, some are saying that
Use synonyms
company
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companies
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 should look for those who dedicate their
life
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lives
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 to it, meaning working in the same business
entire
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their entire
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 life but I would
dissagree
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disagree
 with that. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 I will look
on
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at
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 reasons for both opinions and explain my own. The most common argument for keeping
employee
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employees
show examples
 in the
company
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 is that it can be hard to find an experienced candidate. and
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company
Correct article usage
the company
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ofter
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often
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 has to spend
time
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 and
resourses
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resources
 on
education
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the education
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 and
preparetion
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preparation
 of new people. And when you have a person who
have
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has
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 been working for 5 or 10
year
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years
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 and knows all in and outs of your
buisness
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business
 he or she will outperform any newcomers.
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However
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However,
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 one of the essential
part
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parts
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 of human culture is sharing
idias
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ideas
 and experiences to improve and develop new ones, so in my opinion
recruting
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recruiting
 a new face to the
company
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 may bring more benefits in
long
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the long
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 term
due to
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possibilities
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the possibilities
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 and changes that it leads to.
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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 the
buiseness
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business
 itself is not set
in
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on
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 a rock, it is changing with
market
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the market
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 and
time
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therefore
Linking Words
its
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it is
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crutial
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crucial
critical
 to explore and adapt even when it can be costy. A person that has
spend
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spent
show examples
 half of his life dealing with the same problems might be afraid to try new
aproach
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approach
approaches
 or look on from
a
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apply
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another angle.
To sum up
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, there are some benefits of
hireing
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hiring
 an
employe
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employee
show examples
 who spends
entire
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their entire
his entire
her entire
show examples
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
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 working for the
company
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, but I think having a more natural flow of people gives more
advantujes
Correct your spelling
advantages
adventures
. The business always
have
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has
show examples
 to look for
improvments
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improvements
 and
emplayes
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employees
employee
employers
 who
spends
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spend
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 too much
time
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 in one place can feel traped and
uneble
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unable
 to grow, so
hiering
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hiring
 a new one even for a short amount of
time
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 may give
this
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 fresh air to the
company
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. As you cannot pour from an empty cap, having someone with
a
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apply
show examples
different views because of their experiences might bring unexpected but
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 development.

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language
Work on improving the clarity and grammar of your sentences. This will help convey your ideas more effectively.
language
Make sure to use proper punctuation to improve the readability of your essay.
task achievement
While you provide points for both sides, try to focus more on supporting your own opinion with detailed examples and explanations.
content
You present a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the topic, which demonstrates critical thinking.
structure
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument, which is important for task completion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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