The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making

sugar

from

sugar

cane.There are seven steps from compleat to

sugar

. Looking at the graph as a whole, there are seven steps in

older

Correct your spelling

order

show examples

to growing,harvesting,crushing,purifying

juice

,evaporator,centrifuge and

dring

Correct your spelling

drying

show examples

and cooling.As you can see we had a lot of time to can

sugar

. In detail,

the first step is

growing. We

havr

Correct your spelling

have

to wait between 12 to 18 months

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

can

sugar

canes

Fix the agreement mistake

cane

show examples

,next step is that we have to

harvesting

Change the verb form

harvest

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

it by

show examples

machine and people,after that

sugar

canes

crush

Replace the word

crushed

show examples

and they

are become

Change to the active voice

become

have become

show examples

juice

.In

adition

Correct your spelling

addition

, we have to make purifying

juice

Change preposition

with

show examples

limestone

fiter

Correct your spelling

filter

then

we have to

juice

becomes syrup by

evaporator

Add an article

an evaporator

the evaporator

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

after that separates

sugar

crystals from

syrup

Add an article

the syrup

show examples

Finally

Add a comma

,Finally

show examples

step is that we have to dry and

cooling

Wrong verb form

cool

show examples

them.So we can very easily buy

sugar

from

Correct article usage

the supermarket

show examples

supermarket

Fix the agreement mistake

supermarkets

show examples

however

sugar

has a lot of time to become

sugar

so we have to more thinks.

Submitted by hatsudaya706 on Thu Apr 13 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

151 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

manufacturing process
sugar cane
harvesting
transporting
factory
crushing
extracting
juice
filtering
impurities
heating
evaporating
syrup
boiling
crystallizing
sugar
separating
drying
packaging
distribution
stage
process

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The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

“Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer”

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that men and women have different qualities , therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extant do you agree or disagree

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is sad that life is becoming increasingly stressful for most people. What is the reason of this phenomenon and how could this problem be solved?