The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making
sugar
from Use synonyms
sugar
cane.There are seven steps from compleat to Use synonyms
sugar
.
Looking at the graph as a whole, there are seven steps in Use synonyms
older
to growing,harvesting,crushing,purifying Correct your spelling
order
juice
,evaporator,centrifuge and Use synonyms
dring
and cooling.As you can see we had a lot of time to can Correct your spelling
drying
sugar
.
In detail, Use synonyms
the first step is
growing. We Linking Words
havr
to wait between 12 to 18 months Correct your spelling
have
that
can Correct pronoun usage
apply
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
,next step is that we have to Fix the agreement mistake
cane
harvesting
Change the verb form
harvest
by
machine and people,after that Correct pronoun usage
it by
sugar
canes Use synonyms
crush
and they Replace the word
crushed
are become
Change to the active voice
become
have become
juice
.In Use synonyms
adition
, we have to make purifying Correct your spelling
addition
juice
Use synonyms
by
limestone Change preposition
with
fiter
,Correct your spelling
filter
then
we have to Linking Words
juice
becomes syrup by Use synonyms
evaporator
Add an article
an evaporator
the evaporator
,
after that separates Remove the comma
apply
sugar
crystals from Use synonyms
syrup
. Add an article
the syrup
Linking Words
Finally
step is that we have to dry and Add a comma
,Finally
cooling
them.So we can very easily buy Wrong verb form
cool
sugar
from Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the supermarket
supermarket
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarkets
however
Linking Words
sugar
has a lot of time to become Use synonyms
sugar
so we have to more thinks.Use synonyms
Submitted by hatsudaya706 on
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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