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Some People believe that it is the responsibility of the individuals to take care of their own health.Others believe that government should make sure that their citizen are healthy. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #responsibility #individuals #care #health #government #citizen
In today's world, the advancement in science and technology
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 has led to the development
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 medical treatments. Health is a fundamental aspect of
one
's life,
however
, often ignored by many individuals. Some believe that
well-being
Correct article usage
the well-being
show examples
 of a person depends on his personal choices,
whereas
, others argue that governments should ensure healthier lifestyles
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
. I advocate
with
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apply
show examples
the fact that ruling authorities can help in building a disease-free country.
This
 essay will discuss both views. To commence with, self-care and maintaining
one
's medical fitness is a vital
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
 of
one
's personality.
However
,
this
 ideology suffers at the hands of our busy routines and late working hours.
For instance
, people indulge in drug abuse and smoking, partly
due to
 the
stessors
Correct your spelling
stressors
 in their lives, knowing their
hazardours
Correct your spelling
hazardous
side-effects
Correct your spelling
side effects
show examples
.
Moreover
, some do binge-eating during stressful times and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to obesity and worsens their heart. Some illnesses are a product of
one
's personal decisions that makes
one
's life miserable.
In contrast
,
government
 plays a major role in raising a
healtheir
Correct your spelling
healthy
 community.
A
Correct article usage
Reasearch
show examples
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
 shows that
life
Correct article usage
the life
show examples
 expectancy of humans has plunged to 60 years in the past few years. A main contributing factor
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
death
Correct article usage
the death
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 rate
,
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apply
show examples
 is
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of
government's
Change noun form
government
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 concern towards
public
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the public
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. Organisations receive taxes and they should provide free
health-care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
 services to individuals. Reforms should be made to improve
well-being
Add an article
the well-being
show examples
 of people.
For example
, vaccination programs and breast cancer screening, all over the world
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 contributed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
reduction
Add an article
the reduction
show examples
 of infections and cancer among individuals.
Similary
Correct your spelling
Similarly
, smoking should be banned to prevent lung cancer and other
health-realted
Correct your spelling
health-related
 problems caused by smoking. I believe that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
government
 of the country can improve
population's
Correct article usage
the population's
show examples
 health by spending more time and money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 making accurate laws and
introducting
Correct your spelling
introducing
 screening programs. These steps can result in
prevention
Correct article usage
the prevention
show examples
 of certain diseases causing earlier deaths.
To conclude
, physical fitness is partly a responsibility of the person himself, but more importantly, it is
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 leadership that helps in
controling
Correct your spelling
controlling
 and preventing certain diseases. It should ensure regular check-ups and strict laws to deal with disabilities.
Submitted by Mominamajid521 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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