IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

most people agree that money cannot be happiness. why is happiness difficult to define? How can people achieve hapiness?

#people #money #happiness #hapiness
In
this
 modern era, people are happy even without money. A larger portion of society perceived that Wealth cannot be a peace of mind. I will explain the difficulty of defining joyfulness and ways of getting happy. To initiate with, delightness is a subjective point and every person is getting happy with different resources.
For example
, kids are happy when playing high volume sound on the road
while
 older folks are not happy with that sound.
Additionally
, Enjoyment moves with age.
For instance
, when we were children and someone gave us chocolate and toys so we were happy with that but at
this
 time, we are with earn more money and older people are joyful with spending time with their children. Looking at the ways of getting happy, To summarize above the paragraphs, Happiness is a subjective topic that's why it is difficult to define and it changes with age ,
therefore
 money cannot be delighted.
Submitted by gauravkalathiya123 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: