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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some young people like to copy the behavior and clothes of famous people today. Why might this be the case? What problems can it cause?

#people #copy #behavior #clothes #be #case
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New trends get easily viral on social media by
a
Correct article usage
apply
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storm
are
Correct word choice
and are
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 often brought up by famous celebrities that
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
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impact
Add an article
an impact
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 on
young
Correct article usage
the young
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generation
 . Millennials are more prone to imitating the lifestyle of popular faces and one of the reasons is easy access toon the internet that develops
deep rooted
Add a hyphen
deep-rooted
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problems
.
This
 essay shall put forth cases and enlighten its related
problems
. Internet sensations like actors, models and singers with popular bands are fashion icons. Their key purpose is to get followers on applications
social
Correct word choice
and social
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 media platforms like Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram. Only for that reason,
they
Add a missing verb
did they
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 begin to adopt distinct styles and fashion streaks. Juveniles get inspired so easily by
such
 activities.
This
 hyperactive and enthusiastic
generation
 never misses a chance to follow their dream characters just to avoid the fear of missing out, it often results in constant pressure of always being the first one to bring new trends. In some cases, influencers even try to make lucrative offers so that most fans can follow them blindly.
In addition
, there is a significant increase in internet applications which makes
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
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 options to those of
age
Correct article usage
the age
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 bracket less than 13 to access all the information which should not be there for them. To illustrate,
surveillance
Correct article usage
a surveillance
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 study in America shows
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of students in their teenage are more prone to irreversible changes and adaptations. There are numerous
problems
 associated with
young
Correct article usage
the young
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generation
 following these popular identities are inferiority complex, stress issues, drug addictions and other personality issues. People who are not from privileged families are often victims, they tend to impersonate famous people insanely that sometimes forget their own identity. Some of them could not afford high-end brands to follow the fashion world resulting in
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of confidence and self-esteem.
Moreover
, some show their indulgence in concert artists and follow their footprints blindly even if it includes substance abuse which is another common problem of
this
generation
.
Consequently
, leading
to
Change preposition
apply
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stress causes an abrupt increase in suicidal cases.
For instance
, in a recent clinical
trial
Add a comma
,trial
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 many students were positive for dope tests and statistics
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
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 major causes of young death
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 associated with drug abuse like methamphetamine, cocaine and many other lethal narcotics. In conclusion, young children trying to find new ways to be in
limelight
Correct article usage
the limelight
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 by imitating famous celebrities
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 shows
concerns
Fix the agreement mistake
concern
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 for them
to be
Change the verb form
being
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 found astray.
However
, many dangerous
problems
 are often causing them to involve in obnoxious activities and make socially awkward personalities
Submitted by mic.jan.thomas on

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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