the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006

#bar #sales #billions #dollars #games

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The given bar graph gives

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

data bout the global

sales

in billions of dollars types of digital

games

from 2000 to 2006.There are four digital

games

.They are mobile phone

games

,online

games

,console

games

and handheld

games

. Looking at the graph as a whole, handheld

games

are the most popular in

this

priode

Correct your spelling

period

.As you can see,in 2001, online

games

are

meking

Correct your spelling

making

, and

also

mobile phone

games

are making in 2002. In detail,in 2001,

sales

of handheld

games

over

Add a missing verb

were over

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

12bn,and

also

the

propotion

Correct your spelling

proportion

promotion

sales

of it

around

Add a missing verb

was around

show examples

18bn in 2006.The

rete

Correct your spelling

rate

show examples

sales

console

Fix the agreement mistake

consoles

show examples

reached a peak of about 6bn in 2000,after that the proportion of

sales

of it

steady

Change the word

steadily

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

increased until 2006.So

peopele

Correct your spelling

people

do not use console

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

from time to time.In 2001, online

games

were

making

Change the form of the verb

made

show examples

then

the proportion of online

games

increased

insiginificant

Correct your spelling

insignificant

between 2001 and 2006.In 2001, around 1bn people buy

online

Add an article

the online

an online

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

after

Correct word choice

and

show examples

5years

Correct your spelling

5 years

ago about 8bn people bought

online

Add an article

the online

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

Moreover

,the proportion of

user

Fix the agreement mistake

users

show examples

mobile phone

games

different about 4bn between 2002 and 2006.

Submitted by hatsudaya706 on Fri Apr 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, bn with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

168 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Trends
Surpassed
Advent
Steady growth
Fluctuating sales
Technological advancements
Proliferation
Year-on-year growth
Factors influencing
Peak sales
Demographic shifts
Engagement
Driving the sales
Blockbuster titles
Major game releases
Spurring

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the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

More teenagers are now playing computer games in their free time. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing games?

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than earn a lots of money. Others disagree and think that good salary leads to better life. Discuuss both the views and give your opinion.

Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?