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Band 6.5

the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006

the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006
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The given bar graph gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
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data bout the global
sales
Use synonyms
 in billions of dollars types of digital
games
Use synonyms
 from 2000 to 2006.There are four digital
games
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.They are mobile phone
games
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,online
games
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,console
games
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 and handheld
games
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. Looking at the graph as a whole, handheld
games
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 are the most popular in
this
Linking Words
priode
Correct your spelling
period
.As you can see,in 2001, online
games
Use synonyms
 are
meking
Correct your spelling
making
, and
also
Linking Words
 mobile phone
games
Use synonyms
 are making in 2002. In detail,in 2001,
sales
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 of handheld
games
Use synonyms
over
Add a missing verb
were over
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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12bn,and
also
Linking Words
 the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion
 of
sales
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 of it
around
Add a missing verb
was around
show examples
 18bn in 2006.The
rete
Correct your spelling
rate
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 of
sales
Use synonyms
 of
console
Fix the agreement mistake
consoles
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 reached a peak of about 6bn in 2000,after that the proportion of
sales
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 of it
steady
Change the word
steadily
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an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increased until 2006.So
peopele
Correct your spelling
people
 do not use console
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
 from time to time.In 2001, online
games
Use synonyms
 were
making
Change the form of the verb
made
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,
then
Linking Words
 the proportion of online
games
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 increased
insiginificant
Correct your spelling
insignificant
 between 2001 and 2006.In 2001, around 1bn people buy
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
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,
after
Correct word choice
and
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5years
Correct your spelling
5 years
 ago about 8bn people bought
online
Add an article
the online
show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,the proportion of
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users
show examples
 mobile phone
games
Use synonyms
 different about 4bn between 2002 and 2006.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, bn with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trends
  • Surpassed
  • Advent
  • Steady growth
  • Fluctuating sales
  • Technological advancements
  • Proliferation
  • Year-on-year growth
  • Factors influencing
  • Peak sales
  • Demographic shifts
  • Engagement
  • Driving the sales
  • Blockbuster titles
  • Major game releases
  • Spurring
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