the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006

#bar #sales #billions #dollars #games

The given bar graph gives

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

data bout the global

sales

in billions of dollars types of digital

games

from 2000 to 2006.There are four digital

games

.They are mobile phone

games

,online

games

,console

games

and handheld

games

. Looking at the graph as a whole, handheld

games

are the most popular in

this

priode

Correct your spelling

period

.As you can see,in 2001, online

games

are

meking

Correct your spelling

making

, and

also

mobile phone

games

are making in 2002. In detail,in 2001,

sales

of handheld

games

over

Add a missing verb

were over

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

12bn,and

also

the

propotion

Correct your spelling

proportion

promotion

sales

of it

around

Add a missing verb

was around

show examples

18bn in 2006.The

rete

Correct your spelling

rate

show examples

sales

console

Fix the agreement mistake

consoles

show examples

reached a peak of about 6bn in 2000,after that the proportion of

sales

of it

steady

Change the word

steadily

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

increased until 2006.So

peopele

Correct your spelling

people

do not use console

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

from time to time.In 2001, online

games

were

making

Change the form of the verb

made

show examples

then

the proportion of online

games

increased

insiginificant

Correct your spelling

insignificant

between 2001 and 2006.In 2001, around 1bn people buy

online

Add an article

the online

an online

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

after

Correct word choice

and

show examples

5years

Correct your spelling

5 years

ago about 8bn people bought

online

Add an article

the online

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

Moreover

,the proportion of

user

Fix the agreement mistake

users

show examples

mobile phone

games

different about 4bn between 2002 and 2006.

Submitted by hatsudaya706 on Fri Apr 14 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, bn with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

168 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Trends
Surpassed
Advent
Steady growth
Fluctuating sales
Technological advancements
Proliferation
Year-on-year growth
Factors influencing
Peak sales
Demographic shifts
Engagement
Driving the sales
Blockbuster titles
Major game releases
Spurring

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the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

some people believe that key to healthy life is exercise. some believe that food is the key. discuss both sides and give your opinion

Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Others think they should begin after 7 years of age. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is important for all towns and cities to have large public outdoor places like squares and parks. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the government should pay for health care and education, but others believe it is not the government’s responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your own opinion.