the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006

the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the bar graph shows the global sales in billions of dollars of different types of digital games between 2000 and 2006
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given bar graph gives
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
data bout the global
sales
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in billions of dollars types of digital
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from 2000 to 2006.There are four digital
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.They are mobile phone
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,online
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,console
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and handheld
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. Looking at the graph as a whole, handheld
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are the most popular in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

priode
Correct your spelling
period

If you don’t want priode to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.As you can see,in 2001, online
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are
meking
Correct your spelling
making

If you don’t want meking to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

mobile phone
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are making in 2002. In detail,in 2001,
sales
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of handheld
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

over
Add a missing verb
were over

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
12bn,and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotion

If you don’t want propotion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of
sales
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of it
around
Add a missing verb
was around

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
18bn in 2006.The
rete
Correct your spelling
rate

The word rete doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
of
sales
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of
console
Fix the agreement mistake
consoles

It seems that console may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
reached a peak of about 6bn in 2000,after that the proportion of
sales
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of it
steady
Change the word
steadily

Steady seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
increased until 2006.So
peopele
Correct your spelling
people

If you don’t want peopele to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

do not use console
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games

It seems that game may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
from time to time.In 2001, online
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

were
making
Change the form of the verb
made

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb making. Consider changing it.

show examples
,
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the proportion of online
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

increased
insiginificant
Correct your spelling
insignificant

If you don’t want insiginificant to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

between 2001 and 2006.In 2001, around 1bn people buy
online
Add an article
the online
an online

The noun phrase online game seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games

It seems that game may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
,
after
Correct word choice
and

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
5years
Correct your spelling
5 years

If you don’t want 5years to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

ago about 8bn people bought
online
Add an article
the online

The noun phrase online game seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
game
Fix the agreement mistake
games

It seems that game may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,the proportion of
user
Fix the agreement mistake
users

It seems that user may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
mobile phone
games
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

different about 4bn between 2002 and 2006.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, games, bn with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Trends
  • Surpassed
  • Advent
  • Steady growth
  • Fluctuating sales
  • Technological advancements
  • Proliferation
  • Year-on-year growth
  • Factors influencing
  • Peak sales
  • Demographic shifts
  • Engagement
  • Driving the sales
  • Blockbuster titles
  • Major game releases
  • Spurring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: