Although modern life has brought with it improvements in people’s standard of living, people are not generally happy with their lives. Do you agree or disagree?

The advancement of technology has brought a drastic change in
people
's standard of living. They live extravagant
lives
as compared to their ancestors. But even with all these improvements, some
people
point out that there is a general sense of sadness in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. I agree with their views and in
this
essay, I shall explain the causes of dissatisfaction. The major reason for an individual's unhappiness these days is his deteriorating mental and physical health. Talking about the former,
while
on
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, modern life has provided comfort,
on the other hand
,
people
have lost touch with their loved ones. Their
lives
are busy to the extent that they are unable to have healthy and meaningful communication with their family and friends. To quote an instance, a survey showed that 90% of individuals seeking psychological support are living in big cities with luxurious but busy
lives
.
Thus
, leading a happening life has a negative impact on the mental well-being of
people
, which eventually leads to depression and anxiety.
In addition
,
people
leading modern and busy
lives
are unable to manage time for healthy activities or consume healthy food.
This
has a pernicious impact on their physical well-being which
further
adds to their traumas.
For example
, 75% of folks claim that the root cause of their unhappiness is the underlying health issues
due to
lack of physical exertion owing to their hectic schedules. To recapitulate,
while
it is incontrovertible that modern life has provided man with opportunities to improve their ways of living, at the same time it has caused discontent amongst
people
, by aggravating their physical and emotional problems.
Submitted by abeera.ejaz1234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction could be more engaging and could provide a clearer indication of what the essay will cover.
Task Achievement
The main points are generally well supported with relevant examples, but there could be more detailed exploration of the ideas presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: