Although modern life has brought with it improvements in people’s standard of living, people are not generally happy with their lives. Do you agree or disagree?

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The advancement of technology has brought a drastic change in
people
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's standard of living. They live extravagant
lives
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as compared to their ancestors. But even with all these improvements, some
people
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point out that there is a general sense of sadness in
the
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apply
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society. I agree with their views and in
this
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essay, I shall explain the causes of dissatisfaction. The major reason for an individual's unhappiness these days is his deteriorating mental and physical health. Talking about the former,
while
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on
one
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the one
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hand, modern life has provided comfort,
on the other hand
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,
people
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have lost touch with their loved ones. Their
lives
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are busy to the extent that they are unable to have healthy and meaningful communication with their family and friends. To quote an instance, a survey showed that 90% of individuals seeking psychological support are living in big cities with luxurious but busy
lives
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.
Thus
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, leading a happening life has a negative impact on the mental well-being of
people
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, which eventually leads to depression and anxiety.
In addition
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,
people
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leading modern and busy
lives
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are unable to manage time for healthy activities or consume healthy food.
This
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has a pernicious impact on their physical well-being which
further
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adds to their traumas.
For example
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, 75% of folks claim that the root cause of their unhappiness is the underlying health issues
due to
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lack of physical exertion owing to their hectic schedules. To recapitulate,
while
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it is incontrovertible that modern life has provided man with opportunities to improve their ways of living, at the same time it has caused discontent amongst
people
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, by aggravating their physical and emotional problems.
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Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction could be more engaging and could provide a clearer indication of what the essay will cover.
Task Achievement
The main points are generally well supported with relevant examples, but there could be more detailed exploration of the ideas presented.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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