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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development
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In
this
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 present world, medical
resources
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 are becoming more and more strained,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
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 a result, some
people
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attemp
Correct your spelling
attempt
 to find a treatment substitute for visiting their usual
doctor
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.
Although
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 there are many advantages to
this
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, the drawbacks need to be considered as well. Everyone is not able to avoid
to
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apply
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suffering from illnesses during
a
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apply
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life, but I believe most
of
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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diseases are ailments
such
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 as cough or
diarrhea
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diarrhoea
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 which can generally be diagnosed by ourselves,
Therefore
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, if
people
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 still choose to visit
there
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their
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 usual
doctors
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 for minor illnesses will leads to overcrowding patients for each
doctor
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 and those
peope
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people
 with
heavily
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heavy
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 diseases have to line up to visit their
doctor
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. Things can be changed if
people
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 can find
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 treatment methods,
for instance
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, in China, medical
resources
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 are
extremly
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extremely
 scarce,
it
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and it
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 is difficult for
people
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 to visit their usual
doctors
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 all the time,
some
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and some
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 of them will try to consult
doctors
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 via online medical
center
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centre
show examples
, which is a platform cooperates with certificated
doctors
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 over the country
,
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apply
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 when
people
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 post their conditions on the platform, those
doctors
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 who are available will come to help diagnose.
This
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 method has alleviated
overcrowding
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the overcrowding
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 patients of
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doctors
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and doctors
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 a lot.
On the other hand
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, for those who have chronic syndromes or
heavily
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heavy
show examples
 diseases, finding a replacement for
usual
Add an article
a usual
the usual
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doctor
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 is not an ideal choice, it can even
threat
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threaten
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 their life. Because serious
illness
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illnesses
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 are usually accompanied
with
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by
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 complex facts, the diagnosis will
depends
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depend
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 on their previous condition and medication record. Looking for an alternative medication can cause huge
healthy
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health
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risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
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. In conclusion, I consider the
benifits
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benefits
 of the tendency
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people
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of people
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finding
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to find
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 new medication solutions outweigh its drawbacks, because medical
resources
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 can be distributed more reasonably in
this
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 way and
doctor
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resources
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 strained problem can be solved to some extent.
However
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, it would be better for critically ill
people
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 to keep
contact
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in contact
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 with their personal
doctors
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.
Submitted by 15280151 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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