Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
In
this
present world, medical resources
are becoming more and more strained, as
a result, some Correct word choice
and as
people
attemp
to find a treatment substitute for visiting their usual Correct your spelling
attempt
doctor
. Although
there are many advantages to this
, the drawbacks need to be considered as well.
Everyone is not able to avoid to
suffering from illnesses during Change preposition
apply
a
life, but I believe most Remove the article
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
the
diseases are ailments Correct article usage
apply
such
as cough or diarrhea
which can generally be diagnosed by ourselves, Change the spelling
diarrhoea
Therefore
, if people
still choose to visit there
usual Replace the word
their
doctors
for minor illnesses will leads to overcrowding patients for each doctor
and those peope
with Correct your spelling
people
heavily
diseases have to line up to visit their Change the adverb
heavy
doctor
. Things can be changed if people
can find another
treatment methods, Correct quantifier usage
other
for instance
, in China, medical resources
are extremly
scarce, Correct your spelling
extremely
it
is difficult for Correct word choice
and it
people
to visit their usual doctors
all the time, some
of them will try to consult Correct word choice
and some
doctors
via online medical center
, which is a platform cooperates with certificated Change the spelling
centre
doctors
over the country,
when Remove the comma
apply
people
post their conditions on the platform, those doctors
who are available will come to help diagnose. This
method has alleviated overcrowding
patients of Correct article usage
the overcrowding
doctors
a lot.
Correct word choice
and doctors
On the other hand
, for those who have chronic syndromes or heavily
diseases, finding a replacement for Change the word
heavy
usual
Add an article
a usual
the usual
doctor
is not an ideal choice, it can even threat
their life. Because serious Replace the word
threaten
illness
are usually accompanied Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
with
complex facts, the diagnosis will Change preposition
by
depends
on their previous condition and medication record. Looking for an alternative medication can cause huge Change the verb form
depend
healthy
Replace the word
health
risk
.
In conclusion, I consider the Fix the agreement mistake
risks
benifits
of the tendency Correct your spelling
benefits
people
Change preposition
of people
finding
new medication solutions outweigh its drawbacks, because medical Change the verb form
to find
resources
can be distributed more reasonably in this
way and doctor
resources
strained problem can be solved to some extent. However
, it would be better for critically ill people
to keep contact
with their personal Change preposition
in contact
doctors
.Submitted by 15280151 on
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.