IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is believed that secondary school children should study international news as one of their school subjects. Others think this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#school #children #study #news #subjects #waste #time
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While
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 some people think that secondary school pupils should study foreign
news
Use synonyms
 as one of their school subjects, others are of the view
this
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 is a waste of valuable school time. In my opinion,
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
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 of
news
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 as part of the
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
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 academic
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
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 will be of benefit to the student. On one hand, some individuals agree that the value of
information
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 can be accessed by the impact it makes on the bearer, based on
this
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 line of thought, the effect of
this
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 world
news
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 on the life of the individual is scarcely tangible. The case of a girl in Nigeria with
ambition
Add an article
the ambition
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 of becoming a banker, a change of monetary policy in the UK,
rise
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the rise
a rise
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 of unemployment and
labor
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labour
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 cost in China,
the
Correct word choice
and the
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 death of Queen Elizabeth does not help in ensuring she attains her objective, rather it burdens her as she now allocates time to its study.
On the other hand
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, with globalization, the earth has become a tech village and events in one region
ripples
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ripple
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it's
Correct your spelling
its
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 effect to other areas of the globe, making
information
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 a necessity for survival and proper global positioning in
present
Correct article usage
the present
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 and future, irrespective of its current level of impact on an individual.
For example
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,
news
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 of a war between Russia and
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States of America will cause lots of changes in world trade, like a drop in the value of the dollar, for a Forex trader,
this
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 scenario can make or mare him for life. The line between success and failure is
information
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and a need for wholistic
information
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 can not be
over emphasized
Correct your spelling
overemphasized
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, in view of
this
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, including international
news
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 as a subject will better position students for
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 tomorrow
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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