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Band 4.5

It is believed that secondary school children should study international news as one of their school subjects. Others think this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#school #children #study #news #subjects #waste #time
While
 some people think that secondary school pupils should study foreign
news
 as one of their school subjects, others are of the view
this
 is a waste of valuable school time. In my opinion,
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
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 of
news
 as part of the
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
 academic
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
 will be of benefit to the student. On one hand, some individuals agree that the value of
information
 can be accessed by the impact it makes on the bearer, based on
this
 line of thought, the effect of
this
 world
news
 on the life of the individual is scarcely tangible. The case of a girl in Nigeria with
ambition
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the ambition
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 of becoming a banker, a change of monetary policy in the UK,
rise
Add an article
the rise
a rise
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 of unemployment and
labor
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labour
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 cost in China,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 death of Queen Elizabeth does not help in ensuring she attains her objective, rather it burdens her as she now allocates time to its study.
On the other hand
, with globalization, the earth has become a tech village and events in one region
ripples
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ripple
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 effect to other areas of the globe, making
information
 a necessity for survival and proper global positioning in
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
 and future, irrespective of its current level of impact on an individual.
For example
,
news
 of a war between Russia and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States of America will cause lots of changes in world trade, like a drop in the value of the dollar, for a Forex trader,
this
 scenario can make or mare him for life. The line between success and failure is
information
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and a need for wholistic
information
 can not be
over emphasized
Correct your spelling
overemphasized
show examples
, in view of
this
, including international
news
 as a subject will better position students for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 tomorrow
Submitted by chidinmaelisha24 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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