Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

#television #children #two #five

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Some people argue that

television

advertising is harmful to young

children

and should not be directed towards them.

However

, some people support that

television

commercials do not affect young

children

and there should be no limitations. As far as I am concerned, I believe screen advertisements should be discouraged because they have a negative impact on youngsters. I feel

this

for a number of reasons, which I am going to illustrate in the following essay. First of all, ads encourage

children

to buy unnecessary things. If youngsters see toys or snacks on the screen, they want them immediately.

Adverting

Correct your spelling

Advertising

show examples

companies know how to impact

children

by using kids’ favourite cartoon characters and replicas. My niece's story is a compelling example of

this

. When my niece was three years old, she insisted her family buy everything, that she saw on the

set. Her parents were happy to buy at the beginning, but later they realized that she wanted unnecessary goods.

Although

she even did not play with her toys, she urged her parents to buy new

other

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

dolls which advertised on the screen.

Moreover

, it happened frequently that my brother sent her to the village where her grandparents lived. Her grandparents did not allow her to watch

until kindergarten opened. Had not my brother limited

television

to my niece, she would still crave unnecessary things.

Secondly

adverts affect kids’ behaviours adversely. Toddlers do not have proper traits, so they mostly imitate what they see in their favourite cartoons or adverts, and they answer people the same way.

For example

, my nephew was four years old and his favourite cartoon was "Masha and the Bear". He watched it all day long and began behaving like Masha. In the beginning, it was really exciting to see how my nephew acted like a cartoon character. All of a sudden, he started annoying his parents and he did think that was wrong. When his family understood

this

situation, they limited the cartoons and ads to my nephew.

To conclude

television

advertisements have a negative effect on the younger generation.

This

is because

ads encourage toddlers to buy unnecessary goods and they affect

children

’s behaviour in a wrong way.

Submitted by susanna.alberto084 on Sat Apr 15 2023

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task response

Make sure your essay provides a clear answer to the question. You have expressed your opinion, but spend more time developing the reasons and examples to support your stance.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are effective in framing the essay. However, there could be more explicit signposting of the essay's structure within the body paragraphs to guide the reader through your arguments.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

367 words

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