Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television advertising directed towards young children (aged two to five) should not be allowed.

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Some people argue that
television
advertising is harmful to young
children
and should not be directed towards them.
However
, some people support that
television
commercials do not affect young
children
and there should be no limitations. As far as I am concerned, I believe screen advertisements should be discouraged because they have a negative impact on youngsters. I feel
this
for a number of reasons, which I am going to illustrate in the following essay. First of all, ads encourage
children
to buy unnecessary things. If youngsters see toys or snacks on the screen, they want them immediately.
Adverting
Correct your spelling
Advertising
show examples
companies know how to impact
children
by using kids’ favourite cartoon characters and replicas. My niece's story is a compelling example of
this
. When my niece was three years old, she insisted her family buy everything, that she saw on the
TV
set. Her parents were happy to buy at the beginning, but later they realized that she wanted unnecessary goods.
Although
she even did not play with her toys, she urged her parents to buy new
other
Correct word choice
apply
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dolls which advertised on the screen.
Moreover
, it happened frequently that my brother sent her to the village where her grandparents lived. Her grandparents did not allow her to watch
TV
until kindergarten opened. Had not my brother limited
television
to my niece, she would still crave unnecessary things.
Secondly
,
TV
adverts affect kids’ behaviours adversely. Toddlers do not have proper traits, so they mostly imitate what they see in their favourite cartoons or adverts, and they answer people the same way.
For example
, my nephew was four years old and his favourite cartoon was "Masha and the Bear". He watched it all day long and began behaving like Masha. In the beginning, it was really exciting to see how my nephew acted like a cartoon character. All of a sudden, he started annoying his parents and he did think that was wrong. When his family understood
this
situation, they limited the cartoons and ads to my nephew.
To conclude
,
television
advertisements have a negative effect on the younger generation.
This
is because
TV
ads encourage toddlers to buy unnecessary goods and they affect
children
’s behaviour in a wrong way.
Submitted by susanna.alberto084 on

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task response
Make sure your essay provides a clear answer to the question. You have expressed your opinion, but spend more time developing the reasons and examples to support your stance.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effective in framing the essay. However, there could be more explicit signposting of the essay's structure within the body paragraphs to guide the reader through your arguments.
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