Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #business #contact #countries #effects #loss #identities

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Issues related to the topic are frequently discussed these days. Some

people

believe that there are many positive developments from cooperating with other

countries

in terms of business and culture,

while

others think that

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

seems

Correct subject-verb agreement

seem

show examples

to be negative effects in case the identity of a nation is lost. In the following paragraphs, both of these viewpoints will be examined before a conclusion is reached. On the one hand, it is undeniable that business cooperation between

countries

can increase dramatically economic growth.

In other words

, when a nation's economy is developed, the country has a huge income, and as a ,result the government can improve fundamental factors for their

people

such

as transportation, infrastructure, and health care centres,

as well as

people

having a good quality of life.

Additionally

, traditional and cultural exchange will be supplemented the personal development which implement ideas and technologies from foreign

countries

to boost potential humans.

On the other hand

, many

people

are concerned that

this

cooperation can lead to the loss of national identity. To explain, there are many significant drawbacks to the partnership of business and culture

such

as marriage ideas. Take Thailand

for example

, a wedding before living together as spouse and wife is an identity of Thai culture.

This

idea might be changed when having contact with

people

in different

countries

. In conclusion, even though the two opinions have both benefits and drawbacks, I strongly believe that the advantages of

this

argument outweigh the disadvantages

due to

the

reason

Fix the agreement mistake

reasons

show examples

mentioned above.

Submitted by pt.pinyapat on Sat Apr 15 2023

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task response

The essay does not fully address the views of both sides and lacks a clear opinion.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Also, there is inconsistency in ideas due to poor transitions between paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

globalization
cultural exchange
economic growth
cultural homogenization
national identity
cultural diversity
international trade
investment opportunities
tolerance
cultural preservation
traditional values
global influence
cultural dilution

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Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects. Others say it causes the loss of national identities. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Better driver education for better driving habits is more effective than heavier punishments for driving offences. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In many countries, children today have more freedom than they used to. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that in this modern world getting old is entirely bad. However, other people believe that the life of old people is much better now than it was in the past. Discuss both points and give your opinion.

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.