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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

in some culture, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough? what are advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In the competitive modern world, children have to put in more endeavours to reach their goals.
However
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, can the
efforts
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 becoming the results achieve anything
people
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 aim to? I will discuss the benefits and drawbacks below. Parents and teachers always encourage teenagers to study harder. If adolescents work harder, they will reach astonishing outcomes that never thought of before.
For example
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, all the Olympic athletes can stand on the stage because of continuously accumulate
efforts
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. The outstanding performance can attribute to the extraordinary resistance. When their peers were playing they gave up most leisure
time
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 to practice.
This
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 is the only method that can beyond the limit and surpasses others.
Nevertheless
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. there are still some gaps that can’t compensate by hardworking. Every
people
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 has their profession and what they are good at. If
people
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 put
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efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 into unsuitable places would lead to low confidence in their persistence. To be more specific, Most
time
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 the first place is not who is industrious in studying. There
is
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are
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 numerous classmates who
spends
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spend
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 an enormous
time
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 studying
while
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 the scores don’t have a direct reflection on academic performance. In
this
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 case, didn’t mean that they are not diligent and it can be attributed to using the wrong methods or that might not be the area. Putting the same persevering endeavours in their major will be more effective. In conclusion, It is undeniable that indefatigable
efforts
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 can make up for most drawbacks and achieve their targets.
However
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, in my opinion, recognizing individuals’ capacities and putting persistence in their profession and finding out the strategy will be a more effective clever way than just working harder.
Therefore
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, it can significantly shorten the
time
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people
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 on useless
efforts
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.

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persistence
  • resilience
  • self-esteem
  • confidence
  • motivation
  • disappointment
  • frustration
  • unrealistic expectations
  • talent
  • opportunity
  • socio-economic conditions
  • success
  • failure
  • learning process
  • valuable lessons
  • pressure
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • fear of failure
  • mental health
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