IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Now a day’s online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in stores. What are the positives and negatives developments in your opinion? Give some examples.

#day’s #stores #positives #negatives #developments
It has been argued by many individuals that in
this
 contemporary era, the majority of human beings prefer to do shopping on an online platform rather than visiting stores. In my opinion, the latter preposition appears more rational and in
this
 essay, I will shed the light on the positive development of
this
 notion and
thus
 leading to a logical conclusion. Foremost, the fundamental cause behind my favourable point is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online applications give employment to those humans who have no jobs. To elaborate, the consumers may buy directly goods or services from a seller over the internet using a web browser or mobile apps and provide occupations to jobless people
such
 as delivery and packing.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
India reduces the unemployment rate because of electronic shopping.
Besides
this
, the second optimistic
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 is that people might save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
. In the other words, most commoners are hectic in their
work
 as they want to earn hefty amounts of money, so cyber shopping is
convenient
Add an article
the convenient
a convenient
show examples
 way
people
Change preposition
for people
show examples
 could order anything through online applications without reaching shops.
As a result
, they would consume that
time
 on necessary
work
 and get
promotion
Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
show examples
 from the owner of the companies.
For example
, it is published an article by The Tribune newspaper showed that approximately 65% of the crowd got
high
Add an article
a high
show examples
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 in their
work
 because they utilize the
time
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping which they spend on
work
 domain.
To conclude
,
although
 sometimes online sites give bad products, there are a few positive points it provides jobs
as well as
 save
time
.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: