Young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has a negative effect on young people and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #time #malls #effect #society

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this

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contemporary epoch, many youngsters tend to spend most of their spare time in shopping malls. Many people believe that

this

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affects negatively

individuals

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and communities. I totally disagree with

this

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belief, and I will elaborate my stance with arguments in the below paragraphs. The first reason behind my disagreement is that youth will acquire the opportunity to start their social and professional networks when they go shopping.

For instance

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boys

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and girls will exchange various knowledge that assists them to develop in their lives

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and benefit their communities. Which would be reflected positively in terms of the young’s personal and social productivity.

Secondly

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, young

individuals

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will have a substantial atmosphere to gain experiences about their perspective plans. To cite an example, in Sweden,

conducted

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research states that 5

boys

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out of 10 set up their own businesses yearly

due to

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their acquired command of shopping, which affects dramatically the economic background of their

societies

Use synonyms

Secondly

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, young

individuals

Use synonyms

will have a substantial atmosphere to gain experiences about their perspective plans. To cite an example, in Sweden,

conducted

Verb problem

apply

show examples

research states that 5

boys

Use synonyms

out of 10 set up their own businesses yearly

due to

Linking Words

their acquired command of shopping, which affects dramatically the economic background of their

societies

Use synonyms

Secondly

Linking Words

, young

individuals

Use synonyms

will have a substantial atmosphere to gain experiences about their perspective plans. To cite an example, in Sweden,

conducted

Verb problem

apply

show examples

research states that 5

boys

Use synonyms

out of 10 set up their own businesses yearly

due to

Linking Words

their acquired command of shopping, which affects dramatically the economic background of their

societies

Use synonyms

to sum up

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, it is a common belief that youngsters waste their spare time when they shop in malls and affects their communities negatively. Personally, I don’t support

this

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view since shopping in malls assists the youth to develop themselves and

societies

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over many dimensions.

Submitted by ayham_a96 on Sat Apr 15 2023

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coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. The ideas are not presented in a coherent and cohesive manner, making the essay difficult to follow.

task achievement

The response does not fully address the task. There are repetitive points and the examples do not effectively support the writer's stance. A more comprehensive and relevant response is needed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

305 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

retail outlets
consumerism
advertising
local businesses
neighborhood communities
sedentary lifestyle
obesity
socialize
amenities
economic growth
cultural homogenization
ecological footprint
entertainment
trends
brand loyalty
spending habits
mall culture
local shops
health implications
job opportunities
tourism
consumer debt
environmental impact
energy consumption
waste generation

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Young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has a negative effect on young people and society. To what extent do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Today, the quality of life in large cities is decreasing. What could be the reasons behind this? What measures can be taken to resolve this problem?

Some parents and teachers think that children’s behavior should be strictly controlled. While some think that children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives, but few people achieve it. what are the causes of this problem? How lo overcome it?