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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968, and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968, and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart demonstrates the average weekly expenditure coming from families' income in a country in 1968 and in 2018, respectively.
Overall
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, families spent their weekly payments on
the
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food accounted for the most,
whereas
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the
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leisure cost the least in 1968.
However
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,
the
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leisure skyrocketed to a
peek
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peak
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 in 2018. Looking at the bar charts more closely,
the
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food took up the majority of families' weekly income
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounting
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 for 35% in 1968.
In contrast
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, the other types of spending took up no more than 10% in 1968.
Moreover
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, the spending on
the
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housing
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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nearly doubled to about 20%, which was ranked
for
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apply
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the
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second in 2018.
Furthermore
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, the percentage of
the
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transport went up to approximately 15% in 2018.
Last
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, but not least spending on
the
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food, showed a
dramatically
Change the word
dramatic
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 downward trend
Correct word choice
and plummeted
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plummeted
Wrong verb form
plummeting
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 to about 15% in 2018. Plus,
the
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fuel and power, clothing and footwear ,and personal goods all fell
to
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below 5% in 2018.
Finally
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, the house goods stayed
Add the particle
to remain
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remain
Wrong verb form
remained
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 in the given periods.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure patterns
  • proportion
  • weekly income
  • accounted for
  • total expenditure
  • housing and utility expenses
  • transportation costs
  • other expenses
  • education
  • healthcare
  • leisure activities
  • spending patterns
  • witnessed a considerable rise
  • experienced a substantial increase
  • allocating a larger proportion
  • reducing their expenditure
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