Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #health #alternative #medicines #treatments #doctor #development

In recent years, the number of

people

who have health problems,

such

as obesity, or hypertension, showing an increasing trend.

Moreover

people

try to use

alternative

medicines and treatments rather than going to a clinic or a hospital to see

Change the article

show examples

usual

doctor

. Some

people

hold of belief that using

alternative

treatments, like

yoga

or meditation

are

Change the verb form

show examples

better than visiting

Change the article

show examples

usual

doctor

. In my opinion, it is a controversial issue which deserves an in-depth discussion. First of all, the front and centre in its favour

Change the verb form

are

show examples

that trying other special treatment can make

people

feel relief and

joyful

Replace the word

joy

show examples

. The reason is that taking medicines ring about lots of

side-effects

Correct your spelling

side effects

show examples

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

medicine for

flu

Correct article usage

the flu

show examples

can make

people

feel dizzy. The other reason is that using

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

alternative

therapy is good for mental health. Take

yoga

for instants

people

who do

yoga

not only can relieve their strength

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

can prevent

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

from some specific

disease

Fix the agreement mistake

diseases

show examples

such

as cardiovascular. Based on these compelling reasons

try

Wrong verb form

trying

show examples

alternative

therapies is better than seeing a typical

doctor

On the contrary

, going to a clinic or a hospital to visit a normal

doctor

is more effective and

budget

Wrong verb form

budgeted

show examples

. Doctors are well-trained and they can tell

people

what they suffered from.

For instance

, doctors can use some medical equipment to major our blood sugar or heart rate. They can use

this

data to value our

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

whether healthy or not.

Therefore

people

can face their health

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

based on the medical report, and

then

doctors will give medicine to

people

in order to treat or control their disease. In conclusion, despite trying

alternative

treatments and

see

Wrong verb form

seeing

show examples

Change the article

show examples

usual

doctor

have both

its

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

merits.

However

, I firmly believe that the usage of

alternative

therapies like

yoga

is better for

people

. Because it can bring more advantages for

people

, it can alleviate stress and make

people

feel peaceful. Lesley, the

alternative

therapy is good for long-term

healthy

Replace the word

health

show examples

Submitted by miainspirit on Sun Apr 16 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

alternative medicines
treatments
positive development
negative development
health problems
usual doctor
access
personalized approach
holistic well-being
lack of regulation
evidence-based research
proper medical treatment

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Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Happiness is considered very important in life. Why is it difficult to define? What factors are important in achieving happiness ?

In some countries, the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more people want to buy clothes, cars and other items from famous brands. What are the reasons? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?