Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in piblic services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Introduction

It is argued that

authority

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authorities

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should spend

money

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on public sectors

such

Linking Words

as developing hospitals , schools, security and so on

instead

Linking Words

of recreational activities

such

Linking Words

as art and

music

Use synonyms

. I completely agree with the idea that

administration

Correct article usage

the administration

show examples

should focus on the

people

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and

country

Use synonyms

's development

sides

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rather than

Use synonyms

music

Correct article usage

the music

show examples

and theatre

sides

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 1

There are a number of reasons why I believe government should waste

money

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on education, hospital and other supporting

sides

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, it will help

underdeveloped

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the underdeveloped

show examples

Use synonyms

country

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countries

show examples

turn into

developed

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the developed

a developed

show examples

Use synonyms

country

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countries

show examples

because

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the well

a well

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well educated

Add a hyphen

well-educated

show examples

nation

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nations

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can boost the

country

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's prosperity.

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show examples

educated person knows

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

what will

good

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be good

show examples

for

Use synonyms

Add an article

the country

show examples

country

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country's

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economy and

then

Linking Words

they will work for it.

Moreover

Linking Words

, in

future

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,future

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they will represent their native

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country

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country's

show examples

good things all over the world which will create attraction outsider

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country

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countries

show examples

to invest

money

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Change preposition

show examples

their

country

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, In

Use synonyms

Change the capitalization

Bangladesh

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bangladesh

Add a comma

,bangladesh

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most of the students participate international

programme

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programmes

show examples

to represent

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bangladesh

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Bangladesh

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globally and

also

Linking Words

inform them about their

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country

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country's

show examples

resource

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resources

show examples

On the other hand

Linking Words

school

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schools

show examples

college

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colleges

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and

hospital

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hospitals

show examples

these

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

are the best sector for getting international currency. If we inaugurate those

sides

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and get famous ,

then

Linking Words

international

student

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students

show examples

people

Use synonyms

will come

that

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to that

show examples

country

Use synonyms

for their education, treatment or other activities.

For instance

Linking Words

, India is famous for

well

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good

show examples

treatment

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is why every year various types of

people

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come

Change preposition

show examples

India from various countries for health

cure

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cures

show examples

and

then

Linking Words

they get most of

international

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the international

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currency from

hospital

Correct article usage

the hospital

show examples

sector which is helped to progress their

country

Use synonyms

Body paragraph 2

However

Linking Words

, if we invest

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show examples

art most of the students will get interested

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show examples

music

Use synonyms

arts

Correct word choice

and arts

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than engineering,

doctor

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and doctor

show examples

sectors.

As a result

Linking Words

, we have to take help from outsider

people

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for

job

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jobs

show examples

, education and

others

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

side.

For example

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Daily

Start

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Star

show examples

published that 60%

Change preposition

of student

show examples

student

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students

show examples

Bangladesh

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go to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Australian

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Australia

show examples

American

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America

show examples

for undergraduate which is not good for

Use synonyms

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

development because

Bangladesh

Use synonyms

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

face

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of intellectual

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

. Whatever, public service development will help to remove unemployment. As most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

can easily get

Add an article

a job

show examples

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

those sector

Change the determiner

that sector

those sectors

show examples

, they will

fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

family

demand

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demands

show examples

and lead

luxurious

Add an article

a luxurious

show examples

life.

Conclusion

In conclusion, considering the factors about. I believe, if government focus on public services and

spend

Correct subject-verb agreement

spends

show examples

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

money

Use synonyms

on these sectors,

they

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

will get a breathtaking achievement .

Student

Add an article

The student

A student

show examples

should spend their time on arts and

music

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

leisure

activities

Correct the article-noun agreement

activity

show examples

opshorajhumpa2001

Apr 16, 2023

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
69
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

392 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural enrichment
economic growth
social cohesion
community identity
creative industries
public funding
cultural programs
artistic expression
tourism revenue
non-profit organizations
education and development
inclusive society
innovation
holistic approach
investment balance

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With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree?

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