The first below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

#first #energy #australian #household #second #greenhouse #gas #emissions

The shown charts describe,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

first,

how

energy

is used in a typical Australian household, the

second,

how much

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the

gas

emissions

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

derive from

energy

consumed in an Australian household greenhouse.

In the

Change preposition

The

show examples

charts are considered the

energy

use and the

gas

emissions related to six categories which are: heating,

water

heating, refrigeration, cooling, lighting and other appliances. In the first

chart

Add a comma

,chart

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a significant majority is represented by the sum between

water

heating and heating which represent 72%.

Instead

, a tiny portion is

energy

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an energy

show examples

used for cooling with only 2%. The third thing more

energy

consuming are other appliances with 15%.

Also

in the second pie chart, the sum between heating and

water

heating

represent

Change the verb form

represents

show examples

the most important

gas

emission source but, in

this

case, the percentage for

water

heating is greater than the percentage for heating.

Furthermore

gas

emissions for other appliances represent the second source compared to the first graph

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is the third. In both, the smallest value, for the

energy

use and for the

gas

emission, is for cooling.

Submitted by antodava72 on Sun Apr 16 2023

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

177 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Energy consumption
Greenhouse gas emissions
Sustainable practices
Energy efficiency
Renewable energy
Fossil fuels
Carbon footprint
Eco-friendly appliances
Insulation
Solar panels
Recycling
Climate change
Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
Emissions-intensive
Energy audit
Smart meters

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The first below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

Fully explain your ideas

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.

You are planning a surprise party. Write a letter to a friend to invite them to the party. In your letter: - Explain the reason for the party. - Give details about the time and venue. - Ask them to keep it a secret.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Some believe that all individuals who break the law should be placed in prison as a form of punishment. However, others hold the view that there are more effective alternatives to deal with lawbreakers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that instead of preventint climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.