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Band 4.5

Some people consider price as most important thing to buy product (such as cell phone) or service (e.g. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #product #cell #phone #service #e #g #treatment
Many
people
 prefer
price
 as an important element for a
product
 or a
service
. Though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
price
 is a necessary check before opting for a
product
 or a
service
, I partially agree with
statement
Add an article
the statement
show examples
. Apart from
price
, many
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 factors
such
 as
quality
 and budget are equally
essentional
Correct your spelling
essential
 and
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a key
role
 in deciding
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
product
 and a
service
. Though, many options ponder one's mind before deciding to buy a
product
 or a
service
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
one of the most
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
 would be
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how
this
product
 or
service
 would be of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
value
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 The majority of
consumes
Replace the word
consumers
show examples
 expect
quality
 and they prefer choosing the one which
benefit
Change the verb form
benefits
show examples
 them the most. A
product
 or
service
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
renders the
quality
 of the
product
being
Change the form of the verb
is
show examples
 superior
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for instance
, consumers are willing to pay
am
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 extra amount for an
iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 because of the value and
quality
 it provides.
Secondly
, budgeting plays a pivotal
role
 in deciding
a
Change preposition
on a
show examples
product
 because
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 have a certain financial commitment
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they won't exceed. An average
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 person would go for an Android
instead
 of an Apple, though it has
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 features and
quality
 because he can't afford to pay extra as their budget would exceed.
On the contrary
,
people
also
 believe that
price
 plays a
role
. Since the inception of paper money, the perception of
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
show examples
 the value of a
product
 the higher
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
quality
 or features
has
Add the particle
tohas
show examples
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 many
people
 over to spend more, even if it means that they have to save for a
while
 to buy that
product
 or
service
.
To conclude
, In my opinion, after globalisation and technological advancements
price
 phenomena have changed and there are many other factors to consider
such
 as budgeting and
quality
.
Hence
, these two factors play an important
role
 in making a purchase decision.
Submitted by junaidfayyaz197 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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