IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people consider price as most important thing to buy product (such as cell phone) or service (e.g. medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #product #cell #phone #service #e #g #treatment
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Many
people
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 prefer
price
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 as an important element for a
product
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 or a
service
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. Though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
price
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 is a necessary check before opting for a
product
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 or a
service
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, I partially agree with
statement
Add an article
the statement
show examples
. Apart from
price
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, many
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
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 factors
such
Linking Words
 as
quality
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 and budget are equally
essentional
Correct your spelling
essential
 and
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a key
role
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 in deciding
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a
product
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 and a
service
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. Though, many options ponder one's mind before deciding to buy a
product
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 or a
service
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but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
one of the most
thought
Fix the agreement mistake
thoughts
show examples
 would be
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
how
this
Linking Words
product
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 or
service
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 would be of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
value
?
Change the punctuation
.
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 The majority of
consumes
Replace the word
consumers
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 expect
quality
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 and they prefer choosing the one which
benefit
Change the verb form
benefits
show examples
 them the most. A
product
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 or
service
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
renders the
quality
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 of the
product
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being
Change the form of the verb
is
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 superior
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for instance
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, consumers are willing to pay
am
Correct your spelling
an
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 extra amount for an
iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone
 because of the value and
quality
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 it provides.
Secondly
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, budgeting plays a pivotal
role
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 in deciding
a
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on a
show examples
product
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 because
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 have a certain financial commitment
which
Correct word choice
that
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 they won't exceed. An average
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 person would go for an Android
instead
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 of an Apple, though it has
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 features and
quality
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 because he can't afford to pay extra as their budget would exceed.
On the contrary
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,
people
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also
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 believe that
price
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 plays a
role
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. Since the inception of paper money, the perception of
higher
Correct article usage
the higher
show examples
 the value of a
product
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 the higher
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
quality
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 or features
has
Add the particle
tohas
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lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 many
people
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 over to spend more, even if it means that they have to save for a
while
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 to buy that
product
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 or
service
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.
To conclude
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, In my opinion, after globalisation and technological advancements
price
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 phenomena have changed and there are many other factors to consider
such
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 as budgeting and
quality
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.
Hence
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, these two factors play an important
role
Use synonyms
 in making a purchase decision.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • budget
  • prioritize
  • manage finances
  • high quality
  • affordable
  • effective
  • durable
  • essential services
  • efficacy
  • compromise one's health
  • long-term savings
  • durability
  • efficiency
What to do next:
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