IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below give data on the spending and consumption of resources by countries of the world and how the population is distributed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
#data #consumption #resources #countries #world #population #information #features #comparisons
The given pie charts show data on food, clothing, housing, transport and
others
 and consumption of
resources
 by countries of the
world
 and how the population is distributed. The
world
 spending on food is 24%. Next clothing is the lowest at 6%. Housing spending is 12% of 100%. Transport is 18% higher than housing.
In contrast
,
others
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the highest at 40% of
world
 spending.
On the other hand
,
Europe
's people is 14% the same as America's.
Furthermore
, Africa is lower than previous countries with 10% of the
world
 community. Asian becomes the highest at 57%.
In Addition
, other becomes the lowest with 5% citizens. USA and
Europe
 are the highest of using
resources
 at 60%
while
 the
others
 do not even use the half of
resources
 at 40%.
To sum up
, the spending of
others
 is the greatest of
world
 spending and clothing is the lowest. The
world
 population is dominated by Asian people and the same number is happening in
Europe
 and Africa.
Europe
 and USA are the top users of using
resources
.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words others, resources, world, europe with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: